How to Cope With Grief

Fear of death is a remarkable evolutionary advantage. Without it, our species wouldn’t have fought so hard to survive such challenging times. That fear is an incredible drive for us to keep on living. And that’s what this YouTube film is all about. The dead don’t mourn. It’s us the living that must cope and find a way to move forward. The more we understand loss, the easier it is to survive it.

I hope this film brings some understanding and comfort as we confront our impermanent nature. May we all learn to see the beautiful healing nature of loss and grief, and may that teach us how to live more fully during our brief and precious time on this planet.

Healing From Grief, Loss and Death

Have you ever noticed that the cause of death is almost never revealed in obituaries? We feel that if people knew the cause of death, our loved ones might be judged, mocked, or given less sympathy. So why do we feel that death is a failure? Why do we fear the inevitable? Why do we fight so hard against this universal experience that’s coming for us all?

In this video, I talk about the nature of death, why we see it as this thing we might be able to escape, and how we can truly live life to the fullest. The moment of death is very brief and it’s rather an irrelevant fact since we’ll all do it some day. What really matters is how we lived, how we loved, what impact we left, and how present we were for this brief wild ride.

Grief and loss will touch all of our lives at some point. It’s a unique pain that is often mixed with fear and regret, anger and sadness.

But most of that pain stems from a misunderstanding about grief, death, and life itself.

When we understand our grief, we begin to see the beauty in it.

Just like giving birth can be a beautiful, yet painful, celebration of life; so too can our grief. Grief is love, grief is healing, and grief is there to help us.

In this video, I share how we can make peace with grief.

When the Grief Seems Too Much

For those who have lost so much. For those who have been put through more than your fair share of suffering. For those who have been beaten down by life time and time again. For those who feel weak and tired from torment. I just want to say, you are brave. You are strong. You have gone through so much and are still here. You are a survivor. A fighter. And if you can get through all that you’ve gone through, you can get through anything. You’ve got this.

Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. And don’t forget to love yourself. In this video, I share how we can all get through these most difficult times of loss in our lives. Whether it’s a person, a pet, or a breakup, these devastating events can change us forever. May these words bring you some solace and meaning. 

There is No Beginning and There is No End

All fear stems from the fear of death. Fear of not earning enough money is ultimately about survival and fear of death.  But death, this thing we spend our whole lives trying not to think of, is really not as scary as it seems. We’re too afraid to even look at or think about death, that we’ve imagined it to be far worse than it actually is. In this YouTube video, we take that look and see there really is nothing to fear at all.

Confronting death is one of the hardest parts of living. Grief and loss can define the rest of our lives.

Hopefully, hearing these eternal truths about the deepest questions can help bring some solace and comfort to anyone grieving.

Beginnings and ends are merely illusions. Hollywood perpetuates these illusions by making stories that have these clear starts and endpoints. The truth is, even in the world of movies, something happens before and after the movies starts and ends. We may think of birth as a beginning and death as an ending, but life goes on after us and it was here before we arrived. This is true even by the laws of physics. There are no beginnings or endings, only change. The nature of all things is transformation. We may not have the path laid out for us, but it is ours to discover. The entire cycle of life is beautiful. We can’t pick and choose one part to love and one part to hate because no part can exist without the whole. We cherish a flower because we know it is fleeting. To fear death is to fear birth and all of life. A tiger killing a gazelle is not sad. A gazelle dying of old age is not sad. Plants dying in the cold of winter is not sad. These are essential to the process of life.

Coping with the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet is one of the most painful experiences we can go through. Our little friends become parts of the family. And these little buddies are there for us no matter what. They don’t criticize us or judge us. They simply teach us what true, unconditional love looks like.

While nothing can be said that will alleviate the pain, hopefully this video will give you some simple but profound ways to cope, to heal, and to honor their memory.

Useful Articles and Q & A

How to Be at Peace If Life Is Unfair

I know it, and you know it. Terrible things happen to wonderful people and wonderful things happen to people who’ve done tremendous harm.  If even a great man like Gandhi was assassinated, what chance do the rest of us have at a peaceful and good life?! So how can we

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The Right Way to Dealing with Repressed Emotions

Some doctors and scientists believe that repressed (and suppressed) emotions are the number one cause of chronic pain, mental health disorders and addiction. Even though we may seem very happy and joyful, on the inside we may be harboring very destructive and painful emotions that we aren’t even aware of.

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I Lost My Soulmate. How Do I Let Go of My Love?

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Pet Loss: How to Let Go of Guilt

Pet Loss: How to Let Go of Guilt

Losing a beloved pet is a profound and emotional experience, and it’s entirely normal to feel a range of emotions, including grief and guilt. The bond between a pet and its owner is a unique and profound connection, often transcending the boundaries of words. When a beloved pet passes away,

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When grief strikes

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Recently, my family has been struck with that most unfortunate of news. A giant in our lives and a guiding light was recently diagnosed with late stage terminal cancer. While I have been mostly offline these past couple weeks, I would be honored to share my experience with grief that

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My Story of Grief

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Helpful Books

finding your true self - a love story

Finding Your True Self

When we don't know ourselves, we become lost. Our lives become directionless, we seek happiness but never find it to last for very long, and we become enslaved by pleasure as the only escape for our suffering. This book contains the tools to become the master of our own mind.

the way out of suffering book by todd perelmuter

The Way Out of Suffering

To everyone who has ever felt the sting of suffering. To everyone whose flickering flame of hope still dances in the wind. To everyone whose flame has gone dark, for every candle can be relit. My book, The Way Out of Suffering, is dedicated to all of you. May we all become a beacon of light to the world.

Death, Life and Oneness by Todd Perelmuter

Death, Life and Oneness

In Death, Life and Oneness: Spiritual Wisdom from the #Gita, we go on a journey to conquer our fear of death, find the courage to face life head on, and bask in the #oneness of our universe. It’s ancient healing wisdom for our modern chaotic times.

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