Most people tend to hear negative stories about themselves or others and believe those. It’s very difficult for many people to believe positive stories about themselves. And it doesn’t always come from others, often it comes from our own mind. Our own mind tells a negative, fear-based story, and it shapes a pessimistic and scary world for us. Whether someone says something rude or critical and we believe it, or…
Study after study has shown that meditation can lower our perception of pain. Some dentists now even offer meditation training for pain reduction instead of using anesthesia!The fact is, our mindset not only affects how much we feel pain; it also often creates the pain by holding tension in the body. Tension in the body is one of the leading causes of chronic pain. It leads to tight muscles which…
We’ve all seen the memes about cutting out anyone in your life who drains your energy or doesn’t appreciate you. But those people too are clearly suffering and maybe we can help them. If we cut every person out of our lives who isn’t perfect, we’d have to cut everyone out of our lives, including ourselves. So where’s the line? How can we show compassion and forgiveness, but still protect…
No one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we're closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people. But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we can cling…
Trust is essential to any relationship. So what do you do when someone breaks that trust? Why do people lie and how can we be loving and forgiving, while also protecting ourselves from being lied to again? This article takes an honest look at how we can build up trust again, not just in our relationships, but in our future as well. Forgiveness and trust, while protecting ourselves from dishonesty,…
Imagine a person standing with their arms stretched out to both sides. Someone is standing on each side of this person pulling their arms in opposite directions with all their might. This is how most of us live. We’re living in a constant battle between two opposing forces. It’s a state of constant stress — the tension from our mind almost being torn in half. On one side is what we crave,…
I am watching Peaky Blinders these days. I’m not usually one for such violence, but the family likes it and so it’s good bonding time.One line stuck out to me in particular. Uncle Charlie says to his nephew Tommy in regard to avoiding going crazy or committing suicide, “You have to move around or the guilt catches up with you... You have to keep moving or it all catches up…
Happy 4th of July to all who celebrate!Every year, I think about the inner freedom America’s Founding Fathers displayed when they envisioned a new form of government built on the ideals of liberty and equality. They first threw off the shackles of tyranny in their own minds so their creative spirit could imagine a better way forward. The conditions of political freedom were not prerequisites for their flourishing. In fact, it…
Yesterday I was so in the zone writing my next book, The Guidebook to Being Human, that I totally lost track of time and forgot to write the newsletter. But now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.Hope everyone is enjoying mango season. They’re extra sweet this time of year so be sure to get your fill. I sure did.This may surprise you, but peace and happiness is our natural state…
If you pull out your phone to avoid your emotions, you are not ready to pull out your phone. Everything you do on your phone will be neurotic, dependency-based, and ultimately destructive.Imagine you find out your car is in need of repair. It’s starting to make a weird noise. Instead of having a mechanic fix it, you fill up the gas tank with sand. This is what we are doing…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
