The First Step to Becoming Happy

  • Post last modified:December 11, 2025
  • Reading time:10 mins read

The first step to becoming happy is realizing how we are making ourselves unhappy. This is very hard to see because we are certain that something outside of us is making us unhappy, that some event from our past is preventing us from being happy, that there is some defect within us that prevents us from allowing ourselves to smile, to love.If we were in a constant state of loving…

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When Someone Says Something You Disagree With

  • Post last modified:August 6, 2025
  • Reading time:3 mins read

When someone says something you disagree with, can you instead of rejecting it or absorbing it, can you let it pass through you? Can you give it space to be? Can you see it, play with it, and let it go back into the void without blocking or denying or accepting it? This is what it means to be fully open to life.If you’re a human being (and I’m just…

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How to stop words from controlling your emotions

  • Post last modified:August 6, 2025
  • Reading time:3 mins read

I was recently in Indonesia meeting my sister-in-law’s incredible family in a beautiful village a few hours away from Jakarta. It was absolutely wonderful to be around such a huge, warm and welcoming family. Village life, wherever I’ve been so blessed to experience it in the world, is always special. There’s a deep connection to nature and to beautiful heritages and traditions that infuse their lives with ancient wisdom and firmly…

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Looking Back, I Wish I Knew This Sooner

  • Post last modified:August 6, 2025
  • Reading time:3 mins read

If you’ve seen my recent social media posts, you’ll know that my diary was stolen out of my hotel in Thailand. They took my whole camera bag which had memory cards full of photos, my expensive Nikon camera, and my journal full of my most personal thoughts, stories and struggles.At first when it happened, I was very angry. I felt violated, exposed, and naked. I knew the thief probably didn’t…

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Breaking Free from Aggression – Is It Possible?

  • Post last modified:February 25, 2025
  • Reading time:4 mins read

It is never too late to change. At any age, we can make rapid change. Here’s what’s blocking us from doing so, and here’s what we can do to become the person we wish to be.Luckily, aggression, anger, stubbornness, negativity, pessimism, impatience and tempers are not ingrained in our DNA. But they do become habits. Fortunately for us, habits can be broken in an instant.I know smokers who smoked five…

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Are Anger Issues Genetic?

  • Post last modified:August 1, 2024
  • Reading time:1 min read

Q: Dear Todd, is there any part of anger issues that are genetically linked or is it more of a learned behavior? The reason I ask is because my ex’s anger was intensely explosive and my 3 boys display the same type of behavior when angered. My 2 girls manage their anger really well. All five kids had the same exposure to their father’s outbursts, which were modeled for them,…

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What’s the Best Way to Treat Your Enemies?

  • Post last modified:July 5, 2024
  • Reading time:3 mins read

Q: Dear Todd, how can Ukrainians respond with love to their enemies?TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me how I can suggest that even people in Ukraine respond with love when their lives are in danger. The person went on to tell me that they struggle with spirituality because "we have fear for a reason and if a bear is charging at you, it doesn't care if you respond with love…

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Is Responding with Kindness a Strength or Weakness?

  • Post last modified:July 11, 2024
  • Reading time:1 min read

Q: Dear Todd, shouldn't we respond with our true feelings to people who hurt us and not with love and kindness?TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just…

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How to Let Go of Grudges And Bitterness in a Relationship

  • Post last modified:July 5, 2024
  • Reading time:1 min read

Q: Dear Todd, How Can I Get Over my Grudges? Giving love and forgiveness to others is the greatest gift you can ever give to yourself. When we love and forgive others, we do not lose anything. We in fact gain peace of mind, joyousness, and greater physical and mental health. The more joy and love within you, the more joy and love you put into the world and the…

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The Feeling of Being Judged is Driving Me Mad. Help

  • Post last modified:June 24, 2024
  • Reading time:1 min read

Q: Dear Todd, When I feel the separation between us, I become angry. When I feel I am being judged, my subconscious becomes hostile and temporarily loses my normal peace & serenity. Any thoughts?Todd Answers: It can be difficult when dealing with others as two colliding realities clash. But the separateness is still only an illusion and the best and quickest way to regain serenity is to look closer and…

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