When Insecurity Enters RelationshipsNo one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we’re closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people.But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we…
I understand how hard it can be when people don't treat us the way we would treat others. It is disappointing, disheartening, and discouraging. People are messy and relationships can be very complicated, but we enter into them because of the immense meaning and purpose they bring.To hold onto anger and resentment is to give up on people everywhere. It's a battlefield out there, but we only have 3 options.1)…
Understanding Affection Deprivation and the Drive for TouchWe all need human touch and affection. It is as innate a drive as hunger and thirst. We love love, and so we seek it out, we crave it, and it is this force that has helped us work together to survive and thrive on this planet.Modern Technology: Isolation vs. Real ConnectionIt is true that in our modern society, it’s become easier to…
Love isn’t always easy. Usually, the journey to finding true love is filled with heartache, anger, sadness, and depression—but also joy, comfort, companionship, laughter, and fun. Unless you get so lucky as to marry your first date, there will be some heartbreak. Fortunately, however, there are concrete ways to help you trust finding love again after being hurt. To quote Pat Benatar, "Love is a battlefield." Sometimes we get hurt.…
Reader Question"Todd, it’s my own self-esteem that’s been struck once again to prolong this long battle of wondering, will I ever meet that person? Am I destined to be alone? Have I gotten too old? Will I make it through yet another bout? I’m broken right now but fighting."We all (well, most of us anyway) want a devoted partner, close friends, and a loving family. But trying to find the…
Jump to Your Specific Situation Case 1 ↓ Grieving the Death of a Partner Case 2 ↓ Surviving Breakups & Divorce Case 3 ↓ Surviving Unrequited Love Losing a soulmate can mean the loss of a partner due to death, divorce, or unrequited love. I will cover all three cases and discuss how to survive each one.Case 1) Lost My Soulmate: Grieving Over the Loss of a PartnerThere is no…
What do you do if your partner is spiritually at a different place than you are? Ultimately, this question comes down to two things. There are really two broad stages of spirituality and spiritual development. Of course, within each stage there are many levels, but we can loosely divide them into beginner and advanced, those new, inexperienced meditators and mindful practitioners, and those who have been on the path for…
Learning to trust people after being lied to is not easy. It can fill us with confusion when dealing with others, we don’t know if we’re being too trusting or too cynical. We struggle to maintain a positive view of people while also protecting ourselves from being taken advantage of. Our brain has a way of creating strong memories of negative experiences as a defense mechanism to prevent them from…
A question I received recently was, "I added 4 inches of height to my dating profile. I now have dates lined up for the first time in my life. Now, I am tempted to keep it this way." These days, it may seem like everyone is stretching the truth on dating sites. Camera angles are purposefully mysterious, pixelated old photos hide our age, and the bios may better describe fictional…
We’ve all seen the memes about cutting out anyone in your life who drains your energy or doesn’t appreciate you. But those people too are clearly suffering and maybe we can help them. If we cut every person out of our lives who isn’t perfect, we’d have to cut everyone out of our lives, including ourselves. So where’s the line? How can we show compassion and forgiveness, but still protect…
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