All resenting stems from resisting. Resentment comes from resisting another person's actions, behaviors and habits. Instead of allowing the person to be, we silently resist who they are. That silent resistance turns into spoken or unspoken anger, distance and mutual hardship. The absolute best thing we can do when feeling resentment is to go from resisting to enlisting. Instead of feeling like we must either fight or silently suffer, we…
Q: Dear Todd, when someone is abusive or narcissistic, how do you encorporate them into your life? TODD ANSWERS: You only have to do what your heart guides you to do. That may mean once a year for the holidays, or more often if they show remorse and growth. Path to Peace with Todd Perelmuter Newsletter https://youtu.be/GT48fZe6UQ8
Q: Dear Todd, I lost my dad a year and a half ago and since then, I have been isolated and have been utterly abandoned by relatives and so-called friends. I really and truly don't think I deserve this, but at age 65 it seems as though the entire world wants me gone. I am close to the breaking point and am praying for help. TODD ANSWERS: The constant struggle…
When we expect others to make us feel better, we become the outsourcer of our own happiness. And while it can be very healing to have close people in our lives who we can share our problems with, sharing can all too easily turn into dumping. When we dump all our problems onto others with the expectation of them making us feel better, we are not valuing the other person in…
Dealing With Being GhostedWe’ve all been there. Someone texts you, you text back, and then, silence. Sometimes it takes a few hours, sometimes days, and sometimes never.Or, when dating, you might really like someone and you think, “This can really go somewhere,” but then they disappear. Sometimes you just keep waiting for that text which never arrives. You may cycle through every emotion: anger, confusion, sadness… You keep analyzing what…
Throughout various stages of life, nearly all of us will face some kind of abandonment, neglect, separation or avoidance by someone we care about. And, because we all go through difficult times in our lives, the chances are likely that we will be emotionally unavailable to the people we care about from time to time. It's a world full of trauma survivors traumatizing other people accidentally. But, the good news…
Q: Dear Todd, it's tough knowing that, (at the moment), I am the person bringing the people I love down. I know what living with "toxic negativity" is, but I am trying to forgive who I was and be a better me. I hope others can forgive me, (again), too. TODD ANSWERS: Awareness and good intentions are the first and the most important step of that healing and forgiving journey. Most…
Q: I have always loved everyone since I was young. But over time that love has died. I used to be a happy person but things have changed in me. I gave too much but didn’t receive the same back. Any thoughts?Todd Answers: You can only give what you have to give. This is why it’s so important to listen to your body and mind and know when you need…
Q: Dear Todd, shouldn't we respond with our true feelings to people who hurt us and not with love and kindness?TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just…
If supermodels are insecure, if billionaires feel like failures, and if the world's greatest artists feel like imposters, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to feel worthy and good enough?! The truth is, value doesn't come from others' praise, worth doesn't come from wealth, and contentment doesn't come from achievement. If we only care about superficial things like money and looks, our lives will lack what truly…
“I thought my biggest fear was growing old and dying in prison. In truth, my biggest fear was growing old and not knowing myself.”
- Rick Smith, Albama inmate
A newsletter not just for your mental health but also for your spiritual health.
