Hello my friend,

For many people, especially parents, it’s a lot easier to give up personal cravings and desires than it is to give up our cravings and desires for the people we love. We can be very selfless for ourselves, but when it comes to our family and friends, our selfishness knows no bounds.

We strongly crave for our loved ones to do well, to achieve, and to always be happy. If anyone does anything to hurt them, it’s worse than being hurt ourselves. We crave our family and children will always live rightly, be healthy, listen, and be loving.

We may practice acceptance and letting go for ourselves in meditation, but when it comes to the people we hold dearest that seems unthinkable.

I can relate. There is nothing harder than watching loved ones needlessly suffer. There is nothing harder than seeing our loved ones make mistakes, not listen to advice or wisdom, and struggle endlessly.

This kind of craving is so much harder to let go of, but equally necessary. It will only breed resentment, frustration, and anger.

The solution is threefold: awareness, acceptance, and love. 

1) Stay mindful of your feelings, your motivations, and your intentions. Notice your tendency to place your expectations, desires, and demands on your loved ones. Be aware of how these strong feelings manifest in the body.

2) Accept that everyone is their own person. They’re going to make the mistakes and learn the lessons they need to. All we can do is our best for them. If we do that, we can set our worries and guilt aside. Everyone has there own story to play out. Our job is to be the best supporting character we can be.

3) Stay loving. This is often the most, and best thing, we can do for our loved ones. This is the most effective way we can create a positive change in their lives. It is help without pressure. It is wisdom with grace and forgiveness. It is the healing space that always welcomes them back.

Love will never steer you wrong.

Much love,

Todd