We are killing the present moment every time we relive a memory, wishing it were now. When we are stuck in the past, when we are reliving our childhoods in our minds over and over again, longing for those simple, better days, this is common when we had an idyllic childhood and maybe our lives turned out differently than we expected. Or we just long for those days that were…
The first step to becoming happy is realizing how we are making ourselves unhappy. This is very hard to see because we are certain that something outside of us is making us unhappy, that some event from our past is preventing us from being happy, that there is some defect within us that prevents us from allowing ourselves to smile, to love.If we were in a constant state of loving…
We often notice that when people are faking positivity and pressuring positivity, we tend to find that this is really a desperate cry for help. Because they are unable to face reality. They want to face a fantasy. And it’s a fragile and unstable happiness. I’m going to say something a little controversial — but it’s true: toxic positivity doesn’t actually exist. What we usually mean when we say “toxic…
There are two main blocks that people have from being their happiest, most peaceful, loving selves possible. And it really comes down to two different types of people.The First Block: The People Who Think They’re Happy (But Aren’t Truly Happy)The first type of person thinks they’re happy, but they’re not really happy. This is the kind of person we all know. They always have to be doing something. They have…
There was this woman I knew. She was very wealthy, and she had the perfect life. On paper, and from the outside looking in, everyone would say that’s the American dream. But this person was never happy. She was always focused on the negative. If she went to a five-star hotel, she would change rooms three or four times — because the wallpaper might have been peeling a little, or…
The moment you can sit in stillness and silence, and actually allow your body and mind to become fully at rest, and be able to completely relax the same as if it’s been 1 minute or 1 hour; that is the moment that everything in life will come alive to you because you are at peace with nothing.If we search for happiness in something outside of ourselves, whether by drugs…
A lot of people think spirituality means that monks who renounce everything are the most spiritual, and the rest of us are doomed to suffering. I myself have found great peace in letting go of possessions and bad habits. I have discovered the freedom that comes from practicing minimalism and asceticism.But don’t get me wrong, I love all the pleasures and comforts of life. I used to love them too…
Relationships are not always easy. Two egos can really get in the way of two people trying to connect. We may have a certain way of seeing and being in the world, while other people may have a totally different viewpoint. (I talk about our attachment to thinking, our fear of not thinking, and how we can take back the reins of our mind in my latest video.)As long as…
You may get your annual physical. You may see a therapist from time to time for a checkup from the neck up. But we rarely, if ever, check in with that deepest part of who we are. Some call it soul, others spirit. It has many names: source, prana, life-force energy, consciousness, essence, Atman, and Self.Spiritual health is more important than mental and physical health because from our state of…
When we say that humans are social creatures, it doesn’t just mean that we like to gather and communicate. It means that through the many selves, a society emerges. Without society, we would have no language, and thus no thoughts. So while there is a great deal we can learn about ourselves when we close our eyes and turn our attention inward, it is also important to understand that we…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
