Life only gets out of control when the doing is out of balance with the being. 

Therefore, when we are constantly doing, constantly receiving a bombardment of information and messages from society, from advertising to social media to the friends and family we are surrounded with, we are always being bombarded with trillions of informational data points that the brain processes and uses to create a model of the universe around us.

If we don’t spend an adequate amount of time processing that information, digesting it, and releasing certain negative emotions that were caused, then we will feel like our lives are out of control, chaotic, and disorganized. And we can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under us.

If we, for example, are constantly doing activities, constantly doing things, and not giving ourselves enough introspection or reflection, then we may only notice the effect our behavior has on us in the moment, but not in the future. That’s why we may eat garbage and feel like garbage, but we might not connect the two, because when we eat the garbage, in that moment, we feel a rush of pleasure. We don’t feel the sickness that comes 20–30 minutes later.

This is true in every aspect of our lives. If we don’t notice how something is making us feel, how something is affecting our lives, how something is affecting the people we love around us, then we will be lost in ignorance, and we will create a life that is directionless and unpredictable. That will make it incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to achieve any dreams or goals.

Once we invite that space into our lives, immediately, that overwhelmed feeling disappears because there’s space to breathe. Our bodies can relax. We were in a heightened state of chronic stress, and finally, there was a moment to breathe.

Because when we are being bombarded with information, our minds are going into overdrive to process it. And if it doesn’t have some space to do that, it will do it in a very hurried, impatient way. It will not be effective. It will make us more impatient and more miserable.

For a lot of people who have been living 100% of their lives doing something, which is most people, those first few weeks of inviting that space will feel like torture. It will feel like one minute is twenty minutes. And this is okay. In fact, this is wonderful.

This is the undoing of doing. This is the beginning of being. And this fully changes our lives because we go from a place of chronic stress, a place of chaos, to a place of wise reflection, so that we know, in each moment, what our actions will do for us now and in the future.

In doing so, we begin to have a future that we are consciously creating and shaping, instead of unconsciously making through unskilled and ignorant choices. I don’t mean ignorant as an insult, simply meaning a lack of understanding and a lack of deep wisdom in what we’re doing.

So, whether it is doing anything that helps us get out of our head and helps us be present, it is very useful. It’s a great transition to going beyond that and doing actually nothing, and letting our brain reflect.

Phase 1) At first, it can be a walk, a jog, swimming laps, exercise, anything that we do where we can take out the headphones and just be. We can still be running or walking, but take off the headphones. Or we can be doing anything that forces us out of that normal thinking mode. The more you do that, the better.

That includes art and creativity, performing on stage, these moments of heightened presence that force us to be aware and alert for at least a short period of time.

Phase 2) Then the second phase, which we can start right away in small amounts, is meditation, yoga, and even just sipping tea with no distractions by yourself for five or ten minutes. This is the way we change the way our mind works fundamentally in the long term.

So, swimming is great, but it doesn’t train our mind to act differently after swimming. That’s why these meditative activities are incredible. They’re worth doing, and they make life worth living.

But once we get into meditation, the real nothing, then we are not focusing on balance and moving our legs and arms just so, or avoiding cars or bumping into things. We are putting our full attention inward. We are giving ourselves that much-needed wisdom to understand why our life is the way it is, what choices we made to get here, what we want our future to look like, and what choices we can make to get there.

All it takes is a little bit of time, thoughtful thinking, planning, reflecting, and introspection, and we can all create a life that is both busy and thrilling while simultaneously filled with inner peace, inner calm, and inner stillness. That is the goal we can all reach: a balance of being with doing.