No matter what we are suffering from, it tends to stem from us being stuck to a mental story about that thing that happened. Usually, the thing itself is long over, but we are unable to let go of the past. The past then shapes our present and can dictate our future as well. When we have been through a traumatic experience, there's really two things we need to do…
Learning to trust people after being lied to is not easy. It can fill us with confusion when dealing with others, we don’t know if we’re being too trusting or too cynical. We struggle to maintain a positive view of people while also protecting ourselves from being taken advantage of. Our brain has a way of creating strong memories of negative experiences as a defense mechanism to prevent them from…
We’ve all seen the memes about cutting out anyone in your life who drains your energy or doesn’t appreciate you. But those people too are clearly suffering and maybe we can help them. If we cut every person out of our lives who isn’t perfect, we’d have to cut everyone out of our lives, including ourselves. So where’s the line? How can we show compassion and forgiveness, but still protect…
We humans are a funny bunch of social creatures. We are not machines who can just change our emotions at will. And one of the things we crave almost as much, if not more so, than food is human connection.A hug or a hand on someone else's is the simplest yet most profound act of showing love and compassion. It can instantly transform our mental and emotional states. In just…
No one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we're closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people. But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we can cling…
Trust is essential to any relationship. So what do you do when someone breaks that trust? Why do people lie and how can we be loving and forgiving, while also protecting ourselves from being lied to again? This article takes an honest look at how we can build up trust again, not just in our relationships, but in our future as well. Forgiveness and trust, while protecting ourselves from dishonesty,…
Whether it’s friends, family or strangers, everyone is going through something. Every single person is at a different level of development. Some children seem to have the wisdom of a thousand lifetimes, and some adults act like this is their first trip around the sun. That is the nature of reality.I personally am a very clear and calm communicator (I hope you’ve noticed). I’ll lovingly share when someone’s hurt me…
Any spiritual teacher or healer is going to encounter immense sadness, anger, trauma, and stress, because that’s who gets drawn to this path. And it’s absolutely vital to be able to hold space for those emotions without absorbing them.The same way I dealt with my own pain is how I help others transmute theirs. Because if I take on their stress, I become useless. I lose my ability to serve.…
If somebody is in a lot of pain, and they're going through some serious illness, and they are living in the past, and they’re loving it, then I would never tell anyone to change. But if they're asking this question, then I assume there is some stress, and that the underlying reality of the present moment is causing a great deal of distress, and that they are not able to…
I have a viewpoint and an attitude of loving this moment and wanting for nothing else. Because I noticed a while ago that when you want something that is not happening right now, you suffer. And I didn’t want to suffer, so I cultivated this mindset of making whatever happens in my life, in this moment, exactly what I want.I used to want to be the richest guy in the…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
