Holding Grudges is Self-Sabotage

Most of us take life too seriously. We put so much pressure on ourselves that it hurts our ability to do our best. Because we know that when we are relaxed, we are confident, we're not second-guessing ourselves, and we are thinking in the clearest way possible. When fear and pressure cloud our judgment, we are not going to be our best."Holding grudges" is such a great phrase, because we…

Why You Always Need to Be Around People: Understanding Emotional Dependency

Q: I need to be accompanied by friends all the time. I am so desperate and needy and unhappy. Help!Human beings are social. We're social creatures; we thrive with close connections. And it is because we needed each other to survive. So, we are naturally drawn to those close bonds that make us feel safe. Sometimes, when we have felt unsafe, we may use friends and pets and other devices…

When Life Feels Out of Control: How to Regain Peace and Clarity

Life only gets out of control when the doing is out of balance with the being. Therefore, when we are constantly doing, constantly receiving a bombardment of information and messages from society, from advertising to social media to the friends and family we are surrounded with, we are always being bombarded with trillions of informational data points that the brain processes and uses to create a model of the universe around…

How to Keep Unkind Words from Hurting You

You may not know it, but I am by nature a very private person. Even on my spiritual journey that took me around the world, I never posted about my travels. I understand the stress that social media can cause when people see others posting their travel photos, and I didn’t want to contribute to that.But then I met the remarkable woman who would become my wife. She was shocked…

Breaking Free from Aggression – Is It Possible?

It is never too late to change. At any age, we can make rapid change. Here’s what’s blocking us from doing so, and here’s what we can do to become the person we wish to be.Luckily, aggression, anger, stubbornness, negativity, pessimism, impatience and tempers are not ingrained in our DNA. But they do become habits. Fortunately for us, habits can be broken in an instant.I know smokers who smoked five…

All relationships end in tragedy. Are they worth it?

Whether it’s a family member, pet, or cherished friend, at some point in our life we will lose the ones we love. Or they will lose us. Heartbreak lies ahead for every single one of us. We lose our parents, and occasionally God forbid, we lose a child. The pain we will all endure is enough to make anyone consider the life of a hermit.Is this suffering inevitable? Is life…

Navigating Egos & Different Perspectives in Relationships

Relationships are not always easy. Two egos can really get in the way of two people trying to connect. We may have a certain way of seeing and being in the world, while other people may have a totally different viewpoint. (I talk about our attachment to thinking, our fear of not thinking, and how we can take back the reins of our mind in my latest video.)As long as…

How to Heal From Narcissistic Abuse

Q: Dear Todd, my narcissistic mother only preyed on me during my most vulnerable times. I'm beyond disappointed, and there's a lot of anger in my heart when I think of her. How can I heal? TODD ANSWERS: This is a very tough experience to go through. It is not fair that the person who should be our greatest source of love and support should act in this way. Children…

How Do I Handle Chronic Complaining While Seeking Personal Growth?

Q: Dear Todd, So, do we just avoid and walk away without commenting, do we just nod and show compassion with simple words without true feeling? I need to know how to respond exactly. I live with one chronic complainer currently and can't get away so simply yet. I mean, I could, but only in a situation that I don't feel is a ton better and not without a lot…

People Don’t Like Me Even If Try

Q: Dear Todd, most people don't like me, no matter how friendly & kind I am to them. Some people don't like me in the 1st instance without even knowing me. Others pretend to like me. At work today I was told by one of my colleagues I'm making them look bad just because I was getting on with my work. They all keep staring at me when I notice…