Hello my friend,

Nearly all of us are living on a hamster wheel. As if by compulsion, when we feel stress/anxiety/fear/anger, we run away. And yet, those painful thoughts and emotions are never far behind. So we run and run and run. Most of us will spend our whole lives running.

The first impulse is to escape, avoid, deny, and distract. We want relief and we want it now. 

But what if we didn’t react to our first impulse? Is our quick, habitual, and immediate instinct really giving us the relief we’re seeking? Is it coming from our higher self or our conditioned self based on our past and society’s “solutions?” And does it cause more stress, more suffering, and more anxiety in the long run?

Often, the counterintuitive response is the best one. When something isn’t working, and we’re doing the same thing over and over again but nothing changes, trying the opposite can be the best solution.

For tens of thousands of years, there were no escapes. There were no unhealthy distractions. There was nowhere to hide. The tribe and the wilderness were our havens for healing.

Today, 10 vices can be found in the convenience store on every corner. And the biggest one can be found in our pocket or purse — the phone.

I was a master escape artist for most of my life. Drinking and smoking, food and screens, shopping and working, caffeine and chaos. I acted like as long I was addicted to everything, I couldn’t get too addicted to anything. But overdoing everything is not balance. It is not peace. It’s the opposite.

As long as I had my pleasures, life seemed good. But under the surface was stress and misery that I didn’t even know were there. I was just running around compulsively, not even sure why. The constant running gave me chronic back pain, high blood pressure, impatience, and anger. All I knew was, staying still was unbearable.

But it wasn’t the stillness that was painful. It was just that the stillness allowed for everything painful in my mind to come to the surface.

Out of curiosity, I tried the opposite — staying with that discomfort until either it ended or I did. Luckily for me, it ended first.

It’s the same for all of us. We are all human with the capacity to heal, transform, and evolve. 

The cure for a twisted ankle isn’t to break our finger. It’s to deal with the problem head-on. To look at it, tend to it, and treat it.

Instead of running, stop. Instead of looking away and seeking comfort, look toward the discomfort.

Only when we transform the discomfort into comfort can we truly be free from discomforting experiences.

Every time we pull out our phone, watch a show, go shopping, take intoxicants, or dive into our work to feel better because we’re stressed, sad, anxious, or overwhelmed, we only mask and stuff down our pain. It will not heal through avoidance, only accumulate. We must make peace with those feelings in order to release them.

The moment I did that was the moment my back pain ended and peace entered my life for the first time. I did not know there was a greater feeling than pleasure. I did not know peace was missing from my life. I did not know that no matter what all of us have been through or what we are feeling, there is peace at our core. 

All we have to do, instead of running off, is dive deep within. Stay with the thoughts, look between the thoughts at the spaces and the silence, see the stillness that lies below the surface level of our mind, and we can feel the infinite peace that we truly are.

Much love,

Todd