How to Deal With Lack of Affection in Your Life

We all need human touch and affection. (If you’re currently experiencing loneliness and a lack of physical touch, this video is for you.) It is as innate a drive as hunger and thirst. We love love, and so we seek it out, we crave it, and it is this force that has helped us work together to survive and thrive on this planet.

It is true that in our modern society, it’s become easier to call than to visit, to text than to call, and to drop a heart or a like instead of leaving a comment. And while this distance and isolation can seem insurmountable, these new technologies also contain within them our solution. 

Within our little screens are billions of other people who are also alone. We can use our phones to join meetups, find events, or create our own events. We can meet strangers in our neighborhood, or find love on the other side of the world. We can use these devices to arrange more in-person activities with our friends and loved ones, we can text them that we plan to take our phones out at a minimum, and we can even set alarms reminding us to be more present.

The second way we can use this technology to enhance our feeling of connection is by watching and reading content like this that reminds us just how deeply interconnected each of us is with all of humanity, all life on this planet, and with the entirety of the cosmos. With every inhale, we take in parts of the plants and the earth. We breathe in the stardust of billions of dead stars. We breathe in life, and we breathe life back out into the universe. A merging takes place with each breath, as well as with each bite and sip we take.

The truth is, we can never be alone because we could not survive alone. We need the plants, the critters, our ancestors and our fellow humans in order to be here today. Simultaneously, we can never be truly with anyone. Others can be near us and say kind things to support us, but ultimately it is up to each of us, alone but one, to lift ourselves up, to be a source of strength for ourself, and to decide how we will respond to what this mysterious universe throws at us. (Here’s a simple way to lift yourself up that most gurus won’t tell you.) The journey to peace, presence and purpose lies within, and ultimately we must walk that path alone.


We all notice different things because there are many varying degrees of consciousness. Lower levels of consciousness tend to only see objects. These lower states of awareness usually fixate on physical objects and even see people as objects. The more conscious we become, the more we see non-material things, like relationships, patterns, and connections. We see how all things are connected and affect each other. (Have you ever wondered if oneness would make us suffer when others do, and what we can do to deal with that? Here are some thoughts on that in my latest podcast episode.)

In low levels, everything appears separate, isolated, alone, random and chaotic. In high levels, oneness, beauty and meaning emerge. Low levels are states of fear, anger and greed. High levels are love, compassion and gratitude.

In Buddhism, they meditate on interconnectedness – how all things are related. You can do this too by simply thinking of your lunch. Then you can thank whoever made it for you. Then you can thank the farmers, the truck drivers, the drivers’ parents, the store clerks, the sun and the rain and the air, the plants and critters who made the right conditions for these crops, the road pavers and the taxpayers, and on and on and on. Pretty soon you’ll realize that everything we enjoy is only thanks to everything there is.

As we jump into June, let’s ponder this amazing fact. You and I both have about a million atoms in our body that were once in the body of Jesus. With each inhale, we breathe in particles of air that were once exhaled by every human who ever lived. If you just breathed (and I hope you did), you just inhaled a particle from Julius Caesar’s dying breath. Separation, isolation, and loneliness are illusions created because we failed to look deeper. On one hand, we can never be alone because we are everyone and everything. On the other hand, we can never truly be with anyone else because we are all one. It is dancing in between the space of these two truths that we find the joy and peace of being.


PS – Receiving your heartfelt messages of gratitude and personal transformation touches me deeply. Knowing that my books have made a positive impact on your life fills me with immense joy. I kindly ask for your support in sharing your experience by leaving a review on By leaving a review, you have the power to help others discover the timeless teachings contained within these pages. Your words hold the potential to inspire and guide those who are searching for healing, happiness, and lasting joy. Thank you for considering this request and for being an integral part of spreading the light of these teachings to more people in need.

Also, I recently published an article, Can Meditation Help with Organization & Decluttering? Hope you find it helpful.

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