No one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we're closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people. But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we can cling…
Trust is essential to any relationship. So what do you do when someone breaks that trust? Why do people lie and how can we be loving and forgiving, while also protecting ourselves from being lied to again? This article takes an honest look at how we can build up trust again, not just in our relationships, but in our future as well. Forgiveness and trust, while protecting ourselves from dishonesty,…
I was recently in Indonesia meeting my sister-in-law’s incredible family in a beautiful village a few hours away from Jakarta. It was absolutely wonderful to be around such a huge, warm and welcoming family. Village life, wherever I’ve been so blessed to experience it in the world, is always special. There’s a deep connection to nature and to beautiful heritages and traditions that infuse their lives with ancient wisdom and firmly…
Whether it’s a family member, pet, or cherished friend, at some point in our life we will lose the ones we love. Or they will lose us. Heartbreak lies ahead for every single one of us. We lose our parents, and occasionally God forbid, we lose a child. The pain we will all endure is enough to make anyone consider the life of a hermit.Is this suffering inevitable? Is life…
Q: Dear Todd, I had someone pretend to like me for a year and then she told me that she was using me and that the whole time she hated me. It messed me up so much. I still think that everyone hates me because idk if I can trust people. What if they are like her? What if I’m annoying? Is there something wrong with me? I also hate…
All loving relationships start with knowing. All problems stem from a lack of understanding. If we are to love ourselves, love others as ourselves, and eliminate internal and external conflict, we must know ourselves.The wisdom that arises from understanding who we truly are cannot be told to us. Just as we cannot develop a good relationship with another person by simply reading about relationships, we cannot develop a good relationship…
Q: Dear Todd, my problem is: I am someone who saw and recognized my same-sex attraction from a young age. Over time, I surrendered to such behavior and came into contact with men. I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for several years. With whom I broke up some time ago, even though I had everything that every "gay" would want. The reason why I broke up is…
Sometimes in our lives we can feel like there is nobody there to care about us. Other times, the people who are supposed to care about us are trying to take advantage of us. So what can we do when we just need a hug, when we need the love and support of the outside world, and when we find ourselves lost in loneliness. Here are two essential things that…
From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterI heard a recent statistic that 27% of Americans are estranged from a close family member, and that number is likely far higher due to the stigma and shame around such difficult family situations. (More on how to survive a dysfunctional family in this podcast.)Relationships can be messy. We do not live in a utopia that cares first and foremost about creating healthy,…
Difficult people. We have all dealt with them, we will all surely deal with them again, and chances are very good that we've even been that person from time to time. So, how can we better deal with people who push our buttons? How can we prevent our own buttons from getting pushed? Luckily, the answer is the same for both. An interaction between difficult people is a battle of…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
