My Ex Used Me and Left. Dealing With Trust Issues Now

Q: Dear Todd, I had someone pretend to like me for a year and then she told me that she was using me and that the whole time she hated me. It messed me up so much. I still think that everyone hates me because idk if I can trust people. What if they are like her? What if I’m annoying? Is there something wrong with me? I also hate myself.


TODD ANSWERS: That must have been incredibly traumatic. I would have PTSD from that myself. I can tell you, that is one of the cruelest things I’ve ever heard someone doing. It is 100% not you, my friend. The fact that it hurts shows me you are human and have a heart, unlike the kind of person who could say that to someone else. Luckily, they showed you exactly who they are and you do not have to wonder — it is not you.

I don’t know you, but from this message, you are not annoying at all. But heck, maybe you are. Good! There are a billion beautifully weird and annoying people out there. Annoying people find each other and get married every single day, and they have beautifully quirky lives with their beautifully quirky partners. Stay you. Do not change one iota because of a using, hateful person.

Take time, heal, rest, relax and recover. Be patient with yourself. And when you’re ready, get out there and find that perfect person for you. There’s a lot more weird people than there are mean people. You may accidentally bump into a mean person once in a while, but you can just thank the universe for sending that cruel pretender into your life so that you can better spot them in the future. There are too many good, kind people out there to give up and let cruelty win

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