No one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we’re closest to. 

When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people.

But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow.

Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we can cling too much, we can worry and stress, and we can push away what we want most. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, relationship doubts and hardships are inevitable. 

Understanding False Self-Consciousness

Insecurity, low self-esteem, and being self-conscious all really stem from what I would call false self-consciousness.

It is not self-awareness, it is a misidentification with who we are told that we are, either by others or by our own ego, our own mind.

Self-awareness is the recognition of this powerful life-force energy flowing through you and all things around you.

Being self-conscious, on the other hand, is about believing in some false narrative. And even if that narrative is based on some aspect of truth, it is incomplete. That singular story we tell ourselves is always incomplete and limited.

When we become self-aware, aware of our true selves, we see our infinite potential, our infinite nature, our connection to everything around us. There is no separateness; there is just the flow of energy and the varying densities of form.

Awareness Brings Confidence

And so, when one person, or even two people, start to bring this higher state of awareness into a relationship, a level of confidence naturally emerges because there is no insecurity.

Within true knowledge of the self, there is only an awareness of you and your thoughts, and of the other person, seeing and honoring their true self, and allowing the space for a deeper connection to be reached.

This new depth will have such strong roots that insecurity disappears, because the mutual recognition of each other’s true self has taken place.

To have a deeper relationship beyond the superficial, we must see deep into each other. Thoughts of insecurity may come up, but we don’t try to stop them. We don’t fight them or resist them. We just watch them. Observe them.

But we also don’t have to follow them. And we don’t have to listen to them. Just let them be.

The Confidence of Presence

Not every relationship will last, and we can’t control other people. All we can do is what this moment calls for, be our best in this moment.

And in this way of living for this moment, our life becomes full of these present moments we’ve given our full attention to, and we create the best future for when the time comes.

All we can do in life is take it moment by moment. Rise to the occasion, whatever it may be.

And if we practice that, no moment will be too daunting, too overwhelming, or insurmountable because we will have been practiced at remaining calm, dealing with whatever comes our way.

And there will be a confidence knowing that no matter what happens, everything will work out. Insecurity has no place in infinite beings of love and light.

When we realize our true, miraculous, mysterious, incredible nature, we see that nothing can diminish who we truly are.