Still Have Resentment Towards My Ex. What to Do?

I understand how hard it can be when people don't treat us the way we would treat others. It is disappointing, disheartening, and discouraging. People are messy and relationships can be very complicated, but we enter into them because of the immense meaning and purpose they bring. To hold onto anger and resentment is to give up on people everywhere. It's a battlefield out there, but we only have 3…

Feeling of Inadequacy When Dating?

Don’t all the best humans have a feeling of inadequacy when going out on a date? Ain’t that a thing? The most thoughtful people are so often too introspective and self-critical. It’s easy to get fixated on insecurities, especially because of the ubiquitous media’s idealization of what the ‘perfect’ life looks like, but it’s important to remember you are absolutely perfect as you are.Whenever you are overthinking about yourself, try…

Anxiety Issues Making It Hard to Date

There are a few things we can do to lower anxiety. One way is to boost our confidence. This is done through practice and self-trust, so one thing to do is to try to have a meaningful (roughly 30-second) conversation with everyone you encounter, in a way that goes just slightly deeper and more original than “How’s the weather?” Use your surroundings to connect. This all helps us get out…

Should I Forgive My Girlfriend / Boyfriend For Hurting Me? How?

Q: Dear Todd, my girlfriend told me she hates me and wants me to die a horrible death. Should I forgive her? TODD ANSWERS: Forgive her, yes. Break up with her, maybe also yes (although that’s a personal decision only you can make). The definition of forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. It doesn’t mean telling them you forgive them.…

Getting Over a Breakup When the Reason Seems Confusing

Q: Dear Todd, I recently separated from a partner citing that being together was difficult for her mental health and her judgment of my own inner peace. She believed I had more to work on. Ending things over that made me question the validity of the oneness sadly because her depth into that study is significant.Maybe I am amidst processing and possibly misunderstanding it, but I feel it was the…

How Can I Trust Finding Love Again After Being Hurt So Bad?

Love isn’t always easy. Usually the journey to finding true love is filled with heartache, anger, sadness and depression. But also joy, comfort, companionship, laughter and fun. Unless you get so lucky as to marry your first date, there will be some heartbreak. Fortunately however, there are some ways to help you trust finding love again after being hurt.To quote Pat Benatar, love is a battlefield. Sometimes we get hurt.…

I Always Want People I Can’t Have. How Do I Deal With It?

Ah yes, the age old ritual of courtship. Feigning disinterest, playing it cool but charming, all to entice a potential. The beautiful mating dance of two humans seeking connection.Objectively and logically speaking, we have three options.Be alone.Change our standards.Or we can change ourselves.I believe it tends to be preferential to adhere to options two and three.Option two means that we make sure we’re not too closeminded. It means really considering…

Path to Peace The Cure for Loneliness

Human beings need social connection in order to live full, happy, safe and protected lives. It's hardwired into our DNA. No human was brought into this world without the love and nurturing of someone else. But too often in our modern society, we find there is no tribe, no village, and no community to offer that safety and comfort. In today's podcast I talk about the two types of actions…

How to Handle Resentment in Marriage the Right Way

What's the Root Cause of Resentment in Marriage? All resenting stems from resisting. Resentment comes from resisting another person's actions, behaviors and habits. Instead of allowing the person to be, we silently resist who they are. That silent resistance turns into spoken or unspoken anger, distance and mutual hardship. What Can We Do When We Feel Resentment in Marriage? The absolute best thing we can do when feeling resentment is…

How to Let Go of My Ex Who Has Moved On

Q: Dear Todd, I got separated from someone I truly liked and every other minute a good or bad memory of him comes up. It's been 4 months now. I didn't know what happened. It was a shock for me and then I had to guess and accept what might have happened, but I can't seem to stop thinking about him. All emotions, and thoughts arise from that incident and…