I Always Want People I Can’t Have. How Do I Deal With It?

Ah yes, the age old ritual of courtship. Feigning disinterest, playing it cool but charming, all to entice a potential. The beautiful mating dance of two humans seeking connection.
Objectively and logically speaking, we have three options.

  1. Be alone.
  2. Change our standards.
  3. Or we can change ourselves.

I believe it tends to be preferential to adhere to options two and three.

Option two means that we make sure we’re not too closeminded. It means really considering what we’re looking for, what’s a dealbreaker, and what’s something you could live with. It means making sure we ask ourselves if our idea of a mate is really ours, or is it our family’s or society’s. Are the things we think we want really important? Have we thought of everything that is really important in a long term committed relationship?

Option three means we take a loving look at ourselves. Are we selling ourselves short? Are we suffering from low confidence? How could we present ourselves in a more positive light? Usually that means being more present. When you exude an energy as though everyone wants to date you, all of your dates will try to impress you and win you over, instead of the other way around. So assume that everyone loves you, that you’re a bad ass, and become the chooser. No one deserves self love more than you. No one in the dating world is better than anyone else, just a better fit for some than others. So keep searching and enjoy the journey.

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