How Can You Not Be Attached to Family and Loved Ones?I know it seems strange at first, but the more we examine it, the more we will find that love without possessiveness or clinginess is a far greater and more powerful love. This is what true unconditional love looks like.When we love with attachment, we love with stress and anxiety too, constantly worrying, even if it’s imperceptible. This subconscious stress…
Q: Dear Todd, I work in a restaurant and the environment is usually very negative and toxic. What's the best way to deal with negative and difficult people without getting triggered?Todd Answers: That is so draining to be surrounded by people who bring you down day after day. The best thing to do is focus on people's energy rather than what they say. I don't mean some invisible mysterious energy. I…
Q: Dear Todd, I want to know how consciousness got infected in the first place. Why isn't all of this just common knowledge and our natural operating system? Why are there errors in the code? If everything is one... why is it so... human? TODD ANSWERS: Physically, we are not much more evolved than neanderthals. We think we are wise, but in reality we are merely the first species smart…
When we're anxious, stressed, angry, unhappy, depressed or grieving, impulsive thinking and behavior can easily creep into our lives. This is when we are most likely to succumb to destructive and risky behavior that can make bad problems even worse. So how do we avoid short-term thinking and behavior? How can we can avoid making bad decisions we'll only regret later? How do we recenter ourselves, see the bigger picture,…
All of us to some degree have a fear of being seen, truly seen. We put up walls, we build barriers, and we project an outward appearance that we think will be the most universally accepted. But this artificial persona we create actually causes us great stress and insecurity. We constantly fear we'll be found out, we'll feel like imposters, and our needy insecurity will make us doubt ourselves. In…
I understand how hard it can be when people don't treat us the way we would treat others. It is disappointing, disheartening, and discouraging. People are messy and relationships can be very complicated, but we enter into them because of the immense meaning and purpose they bring.To hold onto anger and resentment is to give up on people everywhere. It's a battlefield out there, but we only have 3 options.1)…
It is not easy to undo a lifetime of seeing the world in a specific way. The conscious mind can much more easily grasp onto a concept than it is for the heart to feel it on a deep level.In fact, in this instance, it appears like the mind is trying to think its way into the heart, but it doesn't really happen that way. The Union of the heart…
Everyone will have failures in life. The more success we have, the more times we'll have failed. That's the nature of learning, growth and success. We will all have things that we feel inadequate about. Michael Jordan might be a great basketball player, but his Mandarin might be atrocious. The reason we feel inadequate is not because we're imperfect, it's because we are comparing our unique selves to other people's…
While some people block out troubling memories, others live with painful memories their whole lives. But it's not about whether we forget or remember, it's about whether we have healed from our past. A painful past only stays painful if we haven't healed. But over time, with patience and self-love, with reflection and introspection, we can heal from anything.The problem is, painful memories don't just stay in our head. They…
Our Stories Are Different, But We Are the Same Though everyone's story is different, we will all face challenges and difficulties. Some things will require urgent and decisive action, and others will call for patience and calm. No matter our story, the best thing we can do is to practice being present and centered through the hard times and the good times. When we spend some time centering ourselves every…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
