It is not easy to undo a lifetime of seeing the world in a specific way. The conscious mind can much more easily grasp onto a concept than it is for the heart to feel it on a deep level.

In fact, in this instance, it appears like the mind is trying to think its way into the heart, but it doesn’t really happen that way. The Union of the heart and mind happens by first understanding, and second by getting the mind out of the way. Your mind already knows the truth, so now we have to set the thoughts aside to feel it.

That deep empathy you feel, that is the oneness. But, you are also fixating on the surface level of the other person’s pain and not seeing their depth and light inside of them, so the surface stuff can feel overwhelming.

Instead of thinking about oneness or lack of it, just watch and feel. A person who has a deep sense of oneness may experience sadness, but it will be as a witness. They may observe anger or frustration, but they won’t lose themselves to these emotions. The key is to watch and stay present, even to one’s own thoughts and emotions. This is how we find the peacefulness that underlies all the seeming chaos in our lives.

I also highly recommend meditating on the interconnectedness of all things and beings. To do this, you can focus on something as simple as your lunch. Then, you simply reflect on how all living beings past and present, all the stars and planets, the air and the soil, the rain and the light, all came together to deliver and prepare your meal for you. What arises from this is a deep sense of oneness and gratitude.