Q: Dear Todd, shouldn't we respond with our true feelings to people who hurt us and not with love and kindness?TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just…
If supermodels are insecure, if billionaires feel like failures, and if the world's greatest artists feel like imposters, how the heck are the rest of us supposed to feel worthy and good enough?! The truth is, value doesn't come from others' praise, worth doesn't come from wealth, and contentment doesn't come from achievement. If we only care about superficial things like money and looks, our lives will lack what truly…
Spirituality is a word that means something different to just about everyone. Some people think spirituality is about being kind to others at the expense of ourself. They think it means being taken advantage of, letting governments and people do anything they want, being passive, inactive, and naive. Other people think spirituality is all about selfish interests, self-love, self-care, and selfishly feeling happy despite the many problems in the world.…
When we get hurt and let down by others, the pain we feel lingers on long after the emotional event took place. These traumatic moments in our lives take up a disproportionate amount of our mental space. If we have too many of these moments in our lives, their mental real estate can consume us. It can take all our effort not to let those experiences define us and shape…
We all (well most of us anyway) want a devoted partner, close friends, and a loving family. But trying to find the right partner, make friends, and build a family can do a number on our psyche.Relationships are a minefield of rejection and disappointment, betrayal and failure. They wreak havoc on our self-esteem, make us question our lives, and they can leave us feeling completely broken.But, relationships also provide us…
Q: Dear Todd, either it is the generation, or something else, but I feel, people are too attached to stuff - money, sex, food, Netflix, cellphones, etc. Have you seen that movie "ripped" when they fly from the 80s to today and they go to a mall and everyone is with their cells, and they think they're in a math convention cos everyone has a "calculator", it is what's happening…
When the Toxic Person is Your KidThere is no secret recipe for raising perfect kids. There are countless influences in the world and not all of them are positive. A parent can not control everything a child hears, sees, and experiences.Sometimes, despite our best efforts, kids can fall into drugs, a bad crowd, disrespect, and a refusal to listen. Parents are not robots, and it’s normal to get frustrated and…
Sometimes in our lives we can feel like there is nobody there to care about us. Other times, the people who are supposed to care about us are trying to take advantage of us. So what can we do when we just need a hug, when we need the love and support of the outside world, and when we find ourselves lost in loneliness. Here are two essential things that…
A few years ago I moved to a new neighborhood in New York. I didn’t know anyone in the area, but I was excited to explore and make new friends. One day on a walk, I ran into a dear old friend who I used to be very close with and found out he was practically my next door neighbor! We made plans to have dinner later that week and…
How Can You Not Be Attached to Family and Loved Ones?I know it seems strange at first, but the more we examine it, the more we will find that love without possessiveness or clinginess is a far greater and more powerful love. This is what true unconditional love looks like.When we love with attachment, we love with stress and anxiety too, constantly worrying, even if it’s imperceptible. This subconscious stress…
“I thought my biggest fear was growing old and dying in prison. In truth, my biggest fear was growing old and not knowing myself.”
- Rick Smith, Albama inmate
Path to Peace - A newsletter not just for your mental health but also for your spiritual health.
