Most of us take life too seriously. We put so much pressure on ourselves that it hurts our ability to do our best. Because we know that when we are relaxed, we are confident, we’re not second-guessing ourselves, and we are thinking in the clearest way possible. When fear and pressure cloud our judgment, we are not going to be our best.

“Holding grudges” is such a great phrase, because we are holding on, with every cell and organ of our body, with our fists and our face and our muscles all tense, when we think of those grudges. When something reminds us of an argument or some kind of failing in ourselves or someone else, we are crushed by the weight of these burdens.

And the key is to recognize that tension, to unclench our hands, and to take some deep breaths because we’re almost certainly not breathing in a calm and deep way.

The world can be chaotic.
The world can be violent, angry, and hostile.
But we all, whether we are in a prison cell, or living alone, or in a big family full of drama, we all can close our eyes, take a deep breath, and release that tension. Release that grip.

We so often put so much pressure on ourselves, and in turn, we put pressure on others. We expect everyone to put as much pressure on themselves as we put on ourselves. But why would we want everyone else to be as miserable as we are?

Our thoughts and emotions are cultivated. They are constantly changing. They are shaped by our past and brain chemistry, as well as our genes and environment. They are largely created by the media we consume, and so they are a summation of our lives, mostly unconsciously, mostly out of our control.

And we believe that the thoughts and emotions are who we are, because we have the closest direct experience of those thoughts and emotions. We don’t see someone else’s thoughts and emotions, but we have access to the physical body’s thoughts and emotions that we shine forth from. And that voice is very convincing. Its whole purpose is to try to control us, to have power over us.

This is because it was necessary to explore beyond our habitat, to go forth and seek out food and resources. If we didn’t have this mind driving us, we may never have had that thought of “I need food. I’m hungry. Let’s get food.” But over time, the mind got too smart. And it tricked us into believing that it is the voice of God in our head, the voice of our true identity, the most important words on the planet, instead of just this body’s present-moment impulses.

Then we are able to see beyond them, and they don’t take up our whole field of view. Because they are just words. They are just physical sensations in the body. They don’t control us.

So we make forgiveness a practice. We make love without expectations a practice. We may still need to cut people out of our lives who don’t respect boundaries, who don’t respect us. But we can do so without anger, without grudges. And that’s the only way to do it. Because even if it’s just internal revenge, we create an endless cycle of hate and violence, even if it’s within ourselves.

The only way to break that cycle of hate and violence and anger and resentment is through love and forgiveness. That’s why they say that living a good life is the best form of revenge. 

And someone else who is on the other end of that grudge, it’ll probably drive them crazy. While that’s not the goal, they certainly want to make sure you are thinking about them constantly, that you are living in anger. So the best medicine is not to take that poison.

We are already perfect beings. We’ve just accumulated some of the world’s problems, and we’ve internalized them. But they are not a part of us. They have not reached the depth and the core of who we are. And they never will.

To recognize that perfection is to let go of all that chaos from the world. Beyond our brain chemistry, beyond our brain size, beyond our physical body, we are all consciousness peering through a body, witnessing thoughts and emotions, witnessing this life story, the interactions we have.

And underneath every single one of us is pure awareness. Pure life-force energy. Life is a fundamental aspect of consciousness. Consciousness created this universe to experience the universe through life, throughout the universe.

It is a gift to witness the infinite universe we live in, with its infinite potential for joy, for peace, for bliss. Except for very brief moments, every animal and plant experiences this pure bliss and peace. Only humans can’t seem to leave the past in the past. And we worry so much about the future.

It is a gift and a curse, these big brains of ours. But we are still evolving. And we still have potential. We are all born with that potential: to evolve our consciousness, to expand our awareness. And the more that awareness shines through us, the easier it is to see that we are all exactly the same.

Some people don’t have as much awareness yet. Some people still act out the impulses of their ego. Some people still believe in their man-made identity, their society-told identity, and it has led to every problem society has ever faced. But many are waking up. Many are discovering that there is an inner wisdom that we didn’t create, that we are not responsible for, that we didn’t learn in school or at university. And we all have this inner guiding light from the universe. We just have to get quiet and still to be able to hear it.

It is the intelligence of this physical body that knows how to beat the heart right on time, never miss one. There is a great intelligence and a great wisdom beyond our egoic understanding. And that is the ultimate potential in every single one of us, no matter where we’ve been, what we’ve done, what has happened to us.

Sometimes the worse the life we have, the easier it is to let go of it and move beyond.

We all just want to be in a state of love. Pure love. That is beyond a recipient, beyond an object or material possession. And it is that greatest of feelings, that can be simply for life itself. The everlasting life that has taken on the multitude of forms and will go on forever.That is who we truly are. 

We think because we’re so smart that we should take some credit for who we are. But a tree just grows. It’s designed to grow. It did not have any say in the matter. And it doesn’t worry about not growing, it just grows. When the conditions are right, growth inevitably happens.

We have to get out of our own way. To see through that persona, that name, label, all of those limiting adjectives that describe ourselves, until we get to:

I am.

 Not good.
Bad.
Great.
Terrible.
Stupid.
Smart.
Funny.
Boring.

Just: I am.

The trees figured this out.
And so can we.