The only wrong way to meditate is to not meditate. Some types of beginners’ meditations have certain benefits and others may have different ones. But if you take the time to turn your attention inward, you will gain insight and understanding into the nature of your mind and the world around you.

Take care of your mental health because a peaceful mind is the first step to reaching your full potential. Just a few small, simple daily habits will lead to a significant change in your personal and professional life. Meditation is our natural state of being. It is a state of being totally present and alert. We are mindful of ourselves and our surroundings. It is a state of complete inner peace and joy.

The practice of meditation is a simple, easy practice where we spend a few minutes being present and alert by turning our attention inward and focusing on our breath, our body, or a mantra.

Meditation is an antidote to modern life. More and more people are beginning to understand this. Most of the world is now either planning to shift or has already shifted to this divine and magical world of meditation.

Many people ask me if there’s a wrong way to meditate. I always have to laugh just a little bit, but then I always answer the same: meditating is like going to the gym. A little is better than none, some types are more beneficial than others, but as long as you don’t overexert yourself, you’re going to get some benefits.

That said, different kinds of meditation will generate different kinds of results. There are pros and cons to everything we do and meditation is no different.

Why is It So Hard to Meditate?

There are many different ways of practicing meditation. From guided to mantra to breath and beyond. Some are easy while some are difficult. Some are incredibly beneficial and others are less so.

Guided meditation is the easiest style of meditation. It typically consists of beautiful music and a voice that guides you to focus on something you wish to improve. You can think of guided meditation like hypnotherapy. You’re in a deeply relaxed state as a soothing voice guides you towards healing and self-improvement.

While it can be incredible for dealing with specific issues, it is not quite the same as meditation. True meditation allows time for introspection and self-examination. In this way, we become our own therapist. We can become more conscious of our thoughts and emotions.

And we can also consciously let go of negative feelings. If mantra meditation is too difficult, absolutely give guided meditation a try. Try to find videos online that provide some silence as well as guidance.

Mantra is the medium difficulty meditation and the one I highly recommend for beginners. As Buddha said, “Always take the middle path.” The path that’s not too easy, but also not too hard. This style provides a myriad of benefits while producing a very pleasurable experience that everyone can enjoy.

To practice, simply choose a mantra. I recommend “Om” as it has no particular meaning. This way it can easily make your mind clear and free. Then, repeat the mantra over and over in your mind for 1, 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes.

You’ll know what is right for you. Only use the mantra while sitting in meditation and not randomly throughout your day. This will build your muscle memory in your brain to recognize that meditation time is happening whenever you think of the mantra.

What Am I Doing Wrong? Why Can’t I Meditate?

No one expects that they can just grab a scalpel and start cutting someone up, and automatically, they’ll be an expert surgeon. Yet, many people think if they sit down to meditate, they should be experts right away. At the first sign of discomfort, a wandering mind, or disruptive emotions, they think they can’t meditate, and that meditation is not for them. Quite the contrary! All of these are just signs that they need to meditate and are merely beginners.

The truth is, literally, every single person can learn to meditate. It’s simply sitting still without distraction, the easiest thing in the world. Often, people who “can’t” meditate are able to run marathons, but they have a hard time sitting still. Negative emotions and thoughts that haven’t been fully healed often bubble to the surface of our consciousness when we first sit for meditation, and some may mistakenly take it as a sign that meditation caused the emotions. However, this is what the healing process looks like and is a sign that meditation is needed and working.

To understand what happens to the mind and body, in meditation, we first have to understand the nature of the mind and body.

There is no separate mind and body; they are directly related. Thus, a psychological experience can trigger a physical response. Many are familiar with stress, leading to high blood pressure, a faster heart rate, and a higher body temperature, but various physical manifestations can occur as a result of psychological changes, such as panic attacks, nervousness, twitching, shortened and choppy breaths, often accompanied by breath-holding.

when we meditate, the mind, which tends to only see things in terms of instant gratification, it really only sees this moment and what it wants in this moment, and seeing the big picture, seeing how it will have consequences.

This is where our higher mind, our sensing, our intuition, and higher intelligence come into play. Because the mind desires instant gratification, meditation becomes incredibly threatening to the ego—the thinking mind that has been in control of our lives—since we have believed it to be our inner voice. We believe that it is who we are, so we listen to those thoughts and give credence to them.

When someone starts meditating for the first time and has developed a habit throughout most of their life of suppressing and stuffing down their feelings—sometimes unconsciously and at times consciously—by diverting attention elsewhere rather than addressing and healing from the traumas they may have experienced, all the feelings that have been suppressed through behaviors such as overeating, excessive shopping, social media use, or seeking entertainment, including anger, sadness, anxiety, and disturbing thoughts and feelings, may surface.

Now, finally, there’s some space where they can be healed and processed. So, it’s not the meditation that is creating these physical and sometimes emotional and psychological responses; rather, it is that meditation is allowing these long-suppressed feelings to finally emerge and be processed for healing.

When we first meditate, people describe all sorts of physical symptoms—it could be their heads kind of shaking back and forth, their eyes engaging in rapid eye movement, or they feel a tightness in their chest. Any kind of twitching, these are all very common ways that the body heals from trauma, ways that we often don’t allow ourselves to heal from.

Many animals, once startled in the wild and experiencing a rush of adrenaline, have mechanisms to burn off that adrenaline. Humans are supposed to have similar mechanisms. We might run from danger, shake uncontrollably, break down and cry, or even engage in laughter. Laughter, in particular, is one of those responses that involves our entire body, raises our temperature, and serves as a coping mechanism for trauma.

When we experience discomfort or disturbing feelings in meditation, it’s important not to resist them, not to fear them, but to look and learn. In this way, we allow whatever arises to be, even if it’s panic, anxiety, and stress, because we can’t fight it.

When we fight it, we create more stress, more tension, more conflict within us. We don’t want to resist it, go along with it, and believe that we are inherently anxious people, filled with anxiety, and that’s the way it will always be.

Instead, we just bring awareness to it. We simply allow it to be, and by becoming aware of it, by allowing it with no negative resistance, we create a space of peace and acceptance around it. This is how any kind of negative feelings can be healed and processed through meditation. It doesn’t mean we should stop; it just means we should keep going.

I Feel Sleepy During Meditation. What Can I Do?

The human mind can really only be in two states: peace and agitation. Agitation doesn’t necessarily mean negative—it simply means excited, active, or stirred up. That agitation can be anything from anger, sadness, excitement, or passion. It’s when the mind is going, going, going.

Peace, on the other hand, is calm, quiet, and settled. It can still be focused, but it is focused on just one thing. So the mind becomes very still.

When we meditate, we notice the mind move between these two states—agitation and peacefulness. The goal of meditation is to stay in the middle. We want to straddle that middle path, so we never get too agitated or too relaxed. We don’t want to get lazy and sleepy, and we don’t want to get overly excited and stimulated. We want a balance: alert, awake, and aware, but also relaxed and restful.

Not in either extreme—neither heavy emotions or mental overactivity, nor dozing off and drifting away from the present moment.

There’s sleep on one side and sprinting on the other. What we want is that middle path: balanced, peaceful, centered, and grounded. A state that is alert, yet relaxed. This is the way to live. It’s how humans have always lived.

In the wild, we needed to be alert for dangers and predators, but we also couldn’t live in chronic stress that weakens our health and our ability to protect our families.

So when we get sleepy during meditation, one very effective thing to do is to sit up a little straighter. Just doing that can help. You can even raise your gaze a little higher. When our eyelids feel heavy and our eyes drift downward, simply raising our eyes (even if they’re closed) can help wake us up. Physically straightening the spine is a great way to address internal sleepiness.

Another way is to think of something delightful—like universal love. Meditate on universal love and compassion for others. Embody compassion by thinking of loved ones, people you care about. Feel that warmth you have for them and allow your mind to go to that place of pure love, radiating outward. Visualize your heart like a glowing ball of light, expanding and expanding.

With each breath in, visualize white, radiating energy filling you up and expanding even further. With each breath out, visualize black smoke leaving your body—containing your laziness, your stress, your worries. Inhale healing love. Exhale what no longer serves you.

When your mind is agitated—thinking too much or weighed down heavily—you can lower your gaze, relax your body more, and turn your mind toward something dulling. Think about the impermanence of everything. Visualize time passing rapidly. See hundreds, thousands, millions of years passing. Eventually, nothing that we thought was permanent will remain. Everything is in constant change—decay and growth, death and rebirth, transformation from one form to another.

Let the mind settle into this flow.

These are really the two greatest techniques for staying on the middle path. And when your mind wanders, notice what made it wander. As you advance, try to notice the thought as it’s coming—before it distracts you. Then, put a little more effort into your breath or mantra, and that will help you stay centered and extend those moments of bliss—that still, quiet peacefulness we all have within us.

We just need to let go of what we’re clinging to in order to experience it.

How Can I Get My Mind to Fully Embrace Meditation?

Often, when we first try meditation, our mind becomes the biggest obstacle. It bombards us with reasons to stop, tries to distract us throughout, and incessantly thinks about what we’re going to eat later or what tasks await us. The mind feels threatened when we attempt to quiet it during our meditation.

So how do we use our mind to help us meditate? We can’t simply ignore our mind, because the thoughts will get louder and louder. We can’t force it not to think about a certain thing, because it will only fixate on that thing. But there is a way to work with our mind.

It is only natural, especially during the initial stages of meditation or when starting out many times, that our mind, our ego, screams, “Please stop! Do anything but this! This is pointless. I hate this. I’m so bored.” These are very common reactions. It’s understandable that the ego wants to be in charge and does not want to be silenced.

The best approach to embrace meditation in our minds is to let go of the need for our minds to embrace meditation. In meditation, our goal is to gain control over our minds and achieve higher control over our focus, awareness, and concentration.

We choose what to focus on, what to concentrate on. Our mind is a thinking machine, and it may think chaotically. However, we don’t have to listen to it. Instead, we can put all of our attention in the present moment where everything happens anyway. This way, the mind becomes background noise.

We don’t have to listen to every whim, thought, and nonsense that it says most of the time. The best thing to do is just watch it, pay attention, and notice its tricks. Be extra aware of what it is trying to do and say, so that it’s not doing it subconsciously.

It can’t control you. Bringing awareness to it brings your higher intelligence into play. Instead of being disjointed between your intentions, thoughts, words, and actions, everything lines up in harmony. Your higher consciousness takes control back from the unconscious or the subconscious.

Most importantly, when discussing embracing meditation, we’re often referring to staying motivated and maintaining consistency. To achieve this, I recommend that everyone, during meditation, doesn’t overly focus on the practice itself. Some days may be peaceful and easy, especially when starting out, while others might be more challenging.

It’s easy to get discouraged, especially if you’ve had a few easy meditation sessions and then face challenges again. You might think the difficulties are over. However, meditation is particularly valuable during these tough moments. It’s crucial to continue practicing during challenging times, as it helps you navigate and overcome them.

Instead of solely concentrating on the meditation session itself, direct your attention to your motivations for practicing meditation. What are your goals and aspirations? Are you observing progress? These factors serve as powerful motivators. Remember, meditation is about the entire day and our overall lives. It goes beyond the act of sitting down; it’s a practice that shapes our minds to be more compassionate, patient, loving, thoughtful, and mindful.

Celebrate the small victories and changes along the way. Always recall the initial reasons behind your practice. Practice patience with your mind; avoid judging or resisting thoughts, as that only leads to suffering. Allow thoughts to come without resistance or judgment. This mirrors the training for handling life’s challenges with calmness and perseverance.

Remember, meditation is a microcosm of life – a safe space to practice facing difficulties. Keep up the good work.

How Do I Know If I’m Actively Meditating or Just Thinking?

Because most people can’t sit down and instantly clear their mind, they think they might be doing it wrong. Or worse, they think they just can’t meditate and that meditation is not for them. But if I were doing something my entire life – thinking – and suddenly tried to stop, it might not happen as fast as I’d like it to.

Luckily, meditation is not about clearing your mind of all thoughts. It’s about becoming conscious – or mindful – of your thoughts. The more aware we become of our thoughts and the more we sit still without distraction to simply observe our mind, the more our minds stop mindlessly creating suffering and the more we consciously choose for it to create joy and peace in our lives.

In our daily lives, we approach everything with care and concern, often questioning if we’re doing it correctly. However, meditation is a unique practice where you’re not actively doing anything; you’re simply being. As human beings accustomed to constant action, we may struggle to grasp that in meditation, there’s no right or wrong way to do it.

The only wrong way to meditate is not to meditate at all. Often, when people express concern about doing it correctly, what they’re really saying is, “My mind is constantly racing. I struggle to stop the flow of thoughts. I forget to focus on my breath or repeat the mantra. I keep losing my concentration during meditation.” However, regardless of the specific challenges, the key is to keep trying and maintaining the practice.

It’s entirely normal for your mind to resist meditation when 100% of your waking life has been in constant thought; it’s not going to stop this deeply ingrained, habitual thought process that has developed over decades in 20 minutes, two minutes, or 10 minutes.

The most important thing is to let go of the expectation that you’re going to be amazing the first time or that you’re going to clear your mind for 20 minutes, or that it’s going to be some magical experience. All of these things make it more difficult to relax and settle in and make peace with the nothingness.

Simply by sitting down, closing your eyes, tuning out any distractions, sitting with your thoughts is an incredible meditation. You cannot do it wrong. You are developing, and it won’t be overnight. But you are developing patience. You are developing a sense of calmness, acceptance with what is developing a focus and concentration.

By learning to block out distractions, you are heightening your awareness. Because without distractions, you’re able to observe your thoughts, emotions, and your body. Whether you’re meditating by repeating a mantra in your mind or trying to focus on your breath, or observing your body, it’s completely natural, even after years of meditating, to be lost in thought most of the time. But over time, there will be brief moments of pure awareness.

Over time, those brief moments will become longer, or there’ll be more of them. All it takes is one brief moment to stop a habitual train of thought, to break your habitual thinking, and to become conscious. That can change your whole thought patterns and can change your whole day.

They say a lot that meditation isn’t about the actual act of meditation. It’s not supposed to be about a half hour of bliss. It’s about how it makes you feel the rest of the day. How does that spill over into the rest of your life? How does that make you a happier, more peaceful, more loving, more grateful, more present person after meditation?

If it was just about 30 minutes of joy, you could watch a TV show, you could get a massage; there are a lot of things we can do. But meditation is about training your mind to tap into this inner source of happiness. We all say happiness comes from within, but very few people actually have developed the ability to create that experience. But that is the true source of lasting happiness. And that’s what meditation can do.

If you’ve been trying meditation for a while and you’re not getting the results you’re wanting, let’s say after a month or so, you can try increasing your meditation time. Make sure you’re doing it every single day. It’s kind of like working out, where the more you do, the better. Any meditation is better than none.

You cannot not get benefits from meditation; it may take longer than you expected. You’ve got to let go of those expectations and trust that what’s happening is normal. Stay focused on your goals, whether it’s sleeping better, being happier, more peaceful, more present, developing stronger relationships, being a better person to your friends or family, finding more discipline and inner strength, more patience, more focus and concentration, greater appreciation and gratitude, and a sense of common love with less stress.

It’s important to let your goals motivate you, not your expectations or how you think meditation should go. If your last meditation wasn’t as good as the one before, or if you feel you’re not making the progress you think you should be making, just have patience. Meditation, luckily, helps with that.

Whether it’s math, medicine, law, coding, playing music, or painting, some people learn faster than others. Some individuals may appear to have a natural gift, but research has shown that with a basic level of intelligence, anyone can become a master at anything. This concept is often referred to as the 10,000-hour rule.

And that’s to become an expert. I’m talking about one of the best in the world. If you put in 10,000 hours into something, you can become incredible at it. But that rule shows us that no matter what anyone is trying to learn, they can. Some people may take longer, some people shorter, but no matter who you are, if you put in the effort, you will get the benefits. So stick with it. Let go of any expectations.

The more you can sit with yourself, make peace with the present moment without being distracted by hyperstimulating foods, entertainment, and distractions, the more peace and joy will come into your life.

There really is no way to meditate incorrectly. Sitting still brings peace to the body and the mind. While you can watch my videos to make sure you are doing all the right things and have every trick and tip at your disposal, there are great benefits to simply sitting and contemplating the day’s events.

In addition to meditation, contemplation and reflection are important activities to give time to as well. With a good teacher teaching you good technique, and as long as you try with sincerity and dedication, you will get better over time. Like any other skill, it takes practice and time.