The past does not exist. Its scars may still exist, but scars cannot control us. In this moment, we always have a choice. We can choose to let the past control us, or we can choose to stay present.First, we have to recognize that our belief that the past controls us is actually a choice. When something bad happens to us, we subconsciously choose to change our ways so that…
Does anyone here have a crystal ball that sees into the future? Do you have a genie’s lamp with unlimited wishes? And most importantly, do you think having those things would make you happier? Perhaps you’ve seen the Twilight Zone episode of the man who dies and goes to heaven. In heaven, he can have everything he could ever dream of just by thinking it into existence. Over time, the…
When we go on a downward spiral of negativity, underneath the thoughts are an attachment to those thoughts. This is the only reason we would mindlessly make ourselves suffer. Unconsciously, we want the drama, we want self-righteousness, we want the justified anger. AND, we unconsciously don’t want to let go, don’t want to accept, and don’t want to move on. The truth is, our value doesn’t come from others’ praise,…
Q: Dear Todd, how can we eliminate stress when it feels like too high of a bar for us to achieve? Path to Peace with Todd Perelmuter Newsletter TODD ANSWERS: Just like how our emotions can be dictated by chemicals in our brain, anxiety may also still arise. However, I think really the goal of mindfulness is to be aware of these changes in our body and moods, to be…
Q: I have always loved everyone since I was young. But over time that love has died. I used to be a happy person but things have changed in me. I gave too much but didn’t receive the same back. Any thoughts?Todd Answers: You can only give what you have to give. This is why it’s so important to listen to your body and mind and know when you need…
Humans did not evolve to face rush hour traffic, 24/7 news alerts on our phones showing us the worst things that are happening in the world, or to live half our waking lives at work with bosses and difficult coworkers. It doesn't matter who you are or where you live, there are times in our lives where we feel overwhelmed, stressed out, and exhausted from the constant barrage of chaos.…
It can be a hard and unwelcome lesson when someone we idolized shows us their humanness. We want to count on people, we hope we can rely on them, and until we learn this lesson, we expect people to always be there for us in the ways we need them to be.When someone fails us who we admire, when trust is broken, it can be earth-shattering. It can feel like…
If you think You're Too Anxious to Meditate? Think Again. As a wise Buddhist monk once said, “If you’re too busy to meditate for an hour a day, meditate for two hours a day!” As I like to say, “If you’re too anxious to meditate, then you definitely need to meditate!” Every single person on the planet can meditate. Meditation—i.e. being present—is our natural state of being. And those who…
There are a few things we can do to lower anxiety. One way is to boost our confidence. This is done through practice and self-trust, so one thing to do is to try to have a meaningful (roughly 30-second) conversation with everyone you encounter, in a way that goes just slightly deeper and more original than “How’s the weather?” Use your surroundings to connect. This all helps us get out…
Just the other day, I had a ton of work to do and my mind went, “Ugh, work.” Immediately, my head slumped down, my shoulders slouched, and heavy emotions started to come over me.Thank goodness I noticed that thought. Because I was paying attention, I witnessed the thought and emotions, observed my resistance to the workload, and I saw how the resistance was causing me stress, not the work. I was…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
