Telling someone “no” may actually be your way of saying “yes” to yourself. We all have 24 hours in a day. There are only so many things we can do in life. In this great journey of life, there will be a finite number of hugs, smiles, cries and laughs. The choice for how we choose to fill up our days is up to each of us. As selfish as it may seem to live your life the way you see fit, it is actually the exact same deal each and every one of us has.

Some people will live for others, others will live for themselves, but the wise person will live in the middle. A person who only lives for others may let people take advantage of their niceness. They may become drained, exhausted, or have a nervous breakdown. Whenever you feel let down by others, and the pain lingers long after the emotional event took place, here are a few simple ways to find your way back to the peaceful present.

Someone who only lives for themself may find themself alone and miserable. They may succumb to addiction and the guilt that comes from living selfishly and unethically.

A person who walks the middle path of mindfulness is aware of their own limitations, their own intuition, and their own instincts. But, they are also mindful of other people’s feelings, if others are being genuine or conniving, and if others are being respectful or just selfishly expecting everyone else to do whatever they want at the drop of a hat.

Each situation is different and will require mindful observation. The more we practice being present, the less we get carried away by our emotions. When we can get out of our head and into the present moment, we’ll know what to do. With no second-guessing, no doubt, no feeling bad, we can say “no,” and we can say it with love, joy and confidence.

Always Remember:

You can only give what you have to give. This is why it’s so important to listen to your body and mind and know when you need to recharge. Loving yourself is not selfish. When your relationship with yourself is love, that love will be projected onto all of your relationships, and because your love comes from within, no one else can bring it down. If you feel stuck in a toxic relationship, here’s how you can know what to do.

Sometimes life can make us tough. Sometimes we have to look tough, like when walking down certain neighborhoods, but in your mind and wherever safe, you have permission to be that shiny person. It may not mean giving every single person too much of your time, but smiles and kindness are free and unlimited, so feel free to give them away all the time. The people who respond with kindness will be your people worth giving your time to.

As time rolls forward at the perfect speed, as next week approaches right on time, and as last week sails away precisely on schedule, let’s all take a moment to breathe a little easier, remembering how the universe unfolds for us, effortlessly, precisely and peacefully. We may feel like we are juggling a million things and holding the world together with duct tape, but also, the earth will continue spinning on regardless. We’ve done the hard work. We’ve stressed long enough. This week, don’t forget to appreciate yourself, celebrate your accomplishments, and take in the beauty around you.

Love, 

Todd

PS – Toss the pills and hit the pillows… with meditation. New research is shining light on the fact that sleeping pills, which only sedate us, do not give us the benefits of deep, rejuvenating, restful sleep. In this article, I’ll talk about the things that prevent us from getting a good night’s sleep, what we can do to sleep great every night, and the latest science behind how and why meditation works for a better sleep.