Why should I change myself to become better if I have nobody in my life? This is a two-pronged question. Because when we say "better," what do we really mean? And that word, better, means two things to the person who asked this question. Better in the sense of, "I want to feel better. I want my mind to stop fighting me. I want to be happier, healthier, and better…
Q: I need to be accompanied by friends all the time. I am so desperate and needy and unhappy. Help!Human beings are social. We're social creatures; we thrive with close connections. And it is because we needed each other to survive. So, we are naturally drawn to those close bonds that make us feel safe. Sometimes, when we have felt unsafe, we may use friends and pets and other devices…
Q: Dear Todd, some kid in my high school class is talking bad about me, and I don't even know them. I don't get it. I even showed my own mother, and she said, "What do you want me to do?" I feel like everyone is just against me. I feel like such an outsider everywhere I go. I'm always in the wrong, and I wish I could say I…
Throughout various stages of life, nearly all of us will face some kind of abandonment, neglect, separation or avoidance by someone we care about. And, because we all go through difficult times in our lives, the chances are likely that we will be emotionally unavailable to the people we care about from time to time. It's a world full of trauma survivors traumatizing other people accidentally. But, the good news…
Spirituality is a word that means something different to just about everyone. Some people think spirituality is about being kind to others at the expense of ourself. They think it means being taken advantage of, letting governments and people do anything they want, being passive, inactive, and naive. Other people think spirituality is all about selfish interests, self-love, self-care, and selfishly feeling happy despite the many problems in the world.…
We all (well most of us anyway) want a devoted partner, close friends, and a loving family. But trying to find the right partner, make friends, and build a family can do a number on our psyche.Relationships are a minefield of rejection and disappointment, betrayal and failure. They wreak havoc on our self-esteem, make us question our lives, and they can leave us feeling completely broken.But, relationships also provide us…
Sometimes in our lives we can feel like there is nobody there to care about us. Other times, the people who are supposed to care about us are trying to take advantage of us. So what can we do when we just need a hug, when we need the love and support of the outside world, and when we find ourselves lost in loneliness. Here are two essential things that…
From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterIf you feel like you were meant to live in a group of loving, supportive people, that’s not an accident. It is hardwired in our DNA. Human beings for 99% of human history survived by living in tribes, villages and close-knit communities. This is why we feel loneliness and crave companionship.Today, it has become much more difficult to connect and form deep and…
If we overthink about it, life can be very confusing. There is so much information that we are bombarded with daily, from ads to movies, from social media to our in-person interactions. Within all of that information are subtle cues that tell us how life should be, what a perfect life looks like, and how you'll finally be happy if only (fill in the blank). But, all of that noise…
From Path to Peace With Todd Perelmuter NewsletterWe all need human touch and affection. (If you’re currently experiencing loneliness and a lack of physical touch, this video is for you.) It is as innate a drive as hunger and thirst. We love love, and so we seek it out, we crave it, and it is this force that has helped us work together to survive and thrive on this planet.It…
If something here helped you feel less alone, would you help me keep it alive?
Even the smallest support matters.
Weekly Writings from the Desk of Todd Perelmuter
