Sometimes in our lives we can feel like there is nobody there to care about us. Other times, the people who are supposed to care about us are trying to take advantage of us. So what can we do when we just need a hug, when we need the love and support of the outside world, and when we find ourselves lost in loneliness. Here are two essential things that can help:

1) Be there for someone else who needs some support. This is the quickest way to create that connection we long for. This will not just create a deep connection at record speed, but when we hug someone else, we are also getting a hug. When we help others, we get a boost of oxytocin (the love drug) and a million other benefits. Compassion for others helps us immediately forget about our problems by focusing on the good we can bring to someone else. When we give to others what we need, we often get it back tenfold. Being of service instantly aligns us and ingrains us within a community.

2) Turn loneliness into sacred solitude. It is my sincerest wish for everyone to be surrounded by countless loving people, but when that isn’t the case, my second wish is for everyone to be so peaceful and positive that they love whatever situation they find themselves in. To do that, we need to practice embracing and making the most of our alone time. 

This week I want you to do this:

Strike up a conversation with one stranger everyday.

It doesn’t have to be more than one comment and getting one reply. Just look someone in the eyes and say something. That’s it.

We often have a lot of fear about approaching people. But the more we do it, the easier it gets. Give a compliment, ask a question, comment on something. Most people have a fear of approaching people, but almost everyone loves the interaction. Side effects include boosted confidence, a more interesting day, and a restoring of faith in humanity.

Remember, we are all one. Beyond the thoughts and ideas in our minds, beyond our memories and beliefs, we are all the same consciousness peering through these physical bodies. So spend a little time stilling the mind, either in meditation or just taking a conscious breath (where we put all our focus on our breath), and see the oneness that is there. (More on how to use the breath to explore the deepest parts of ourselves, and how to turn every moment into a mindful moment, in this video.) Separateness, isolation and division may be an elaborate illusion, but oneness is the truth. Tap into that and you will feel instantly connected to everyone and everything. I talk more about how to enjoy the show of life in this video.

One of the biggest reasons for the loneliness epidemic in our society is because of the internet and social media. It connects us to billions of people, but there is no substitute for human in-person connection. In my book, Digital Ego: A How-To Survival Guide for the Internet, I go into depth about finding peace and meaningful relationships in a digital world. Get your copy before May 31st for just $2.99 in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month.

Much love,
Todd

P.S.  All of us to some degree have a fear of being seen, truly seen. We put up walls, we build barriers, and we project an outward appearance that we think will be the most universally accepted. In my latest podcast, I share the reasons why we put up these walls of inauthenticity, and I share some simple ways we can tear them down so we can live true to ourselves and to what makes us truly happy.