Will I Be Forever Alone?

Q: Dear Todd, it’s my own self-esteem that’s been struck once again to prolong this long battle of wondering, will I ever meet that person? Am I destined to be alone? Have I gotten too old? Will I make it through yet another bout? I’m broken right now but fighting.

TODD ANSWERS: You are not too old! Not even if you were a hundred. But here’s why you feel like the ups and downs — the rollercoaster — is too exhausting and draining: you are not anchored to presence.

When we are anchored, centered and still, we can watch and enjoy the ups and the downs. To anchor ourselves, we have to practice no longer seeking confidence — not from others or our own mental chatter.

Instead of fluctuating between “I am great” and “I am terrible,” practice resting in “I am.” Desire for confidence makes us unconfident. Depending on praise or a loving relationship makes us a victim of circumstance. Be content with just being and you will be confident.

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