Early in my time in India, one of the first gurus I met asked me why I wanted to become enlightened. I said, “Because it’s probably like being on an acid trip all the time.” He laughed and said, “Then you won’t become enlightened.” What I realized later was that he was pointing out the selfishness of that motivation. Enlightenment cannot be pursued for personal pleasure. That moment shifted my…
When Insecurity Enters RelationshipsNo one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we’re closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people.But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we…
Reader Question "Dear Todd, if we have family, friends, and relationships can we also reach Enlightenment/Self-Realization? Can we have both?" There is no doubt that it is easier to meditate all day when we live in a monastery. But, while meditation is essential for understanding the mind and the nature of consciousness, that’s not all there is to reaching our ultimate potential.We humans forget that we are spiritual beings, but…
What is the secret to peace and lasting joy? Why does true contentment in life feel so elusive? We all seek it, yet very few of us seem to hold onto it for long. We are bombarded with “solutions” for our discontent everywhere and all the time. Society tells us that this or that product will finally give us a feeling of wholeness. The next smartphone will be the last…
Send me a message Five minutes a day of intentional positive thinking is enough to start changing how your mind works. Here's the practice — and why our thoughts run negative by default. Almost all of our thinking is unconscious. It's habit, conditioning, and repetition, and it leans negative because the mind is a survival system built to scan for danger. That worked in the forest. It doesn't work in…
How Can You Not Be Attached to Family and Loved Ones?I know it seems strange at first, but the more we examine it, the more we will find that love without possessiveness or clinginess is a far greater and more powerful love. This is what true unconditional love looks like.When we love with attachment, we love with stress and anxiety too, constantly worrying, even if it’s imperceptible. This subconscious stress…
We live in a world that, at times, can seem to celebrate and reward the greediest among us. We live by our own code of values and morals, yet we see people who are unencumbered by ethics get ahead and who seemingly don’t have a care in the world.But the truth is, there is a greater joy than the fleeting pleasure of accumulation. There is a greater and lasting peace…
Even though, in the short term, telling someone off or badmouthing them may feel good, in the long run, it leads to nothing but misery. Blaming our problems on other people may feel satisfying for a moment, but it does not fix the problem. It does not lead to a solution. It does not help us in the long term. There will always be dirtbags, jerks, and cruel people in…
Someone recently asked me how to handle situations when a person does or says something hurtful. I get it, believe me. When learning how to react when someone hurts you, our first unconscious, instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But responding out of rage lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. Reacting with anger simply isn't an effective way to communicate. People’s walls immediately go up, and they…
There are two things taking place when we feel like our life is not going the way we hoped or wanted it to. When it feels like life didn't go as planned, or when that quiet anxiety creeps in telling you that life is slipping away, the root usually comes back to these exact sources. The first thing is expectations — those pesky things created by society, our loved ones,…
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