Dealing With Being Ghosted
We’ve all been there. Someone texts you, you text back, and then, silence. Sometimes it takes a few hours, sometimes days, and sometimes never.
Or, when dating, you might really like someone and you think, “This can really go somewhere,” but then they disappear. Sometimes you just keep waiting for that text which never arrives. You may cycle through every emotion: anger, confusion, sadness… You keep analyzing what you did wrong and what you could have done to avoid it. Your ego gets hurt and your self-esteem plummets. You start to question yourself, “Was I funny enough? Was I pretty enough?” So, what’s a better way to cope with the infamous ghoster?
The answer to that question is to not change how we cope, but rather to change how we go about our social lives in the first place. If we approach our social lives in the right way, there would be no need for coping at all. If we seek out companionship thinking it will make us happy, we are making our happiness dependent on temporary circumstances that are bound to change. If we tap into our inner peace, love and joy, the whole world and all of its pleasures simply become the icing on the cake — you can take it or leave it.
The sage knows that some people will ghost, others will flake, and others will lash out and reenact old trauma. This is the way of the world — everyone is going through their own journey. The most we can do is discover ourselves, then we can share our joys and sorrows with other folks who are in a similar place on their own journey. We can welcome all newcomers, say goodbye peacefully to those whose paths diverge, and we can embrace and appreciate every step of the way.
Break That Cycle of Overthinking Before It Creates Any Suffering
Our minds are thinking machines, constantly jumping from thought to thought, constantly looking for something to overthink and obsess about. That’s what they do, it’s their job. A hand will do hand stuff and the mind will do thinking stuff.
But what happens when our minds get out of control? What happens when they no longer think the positive thoughts we wish they would? What happens when they only dwell on negative things, like what could go wrong in the future and what has gone wrong in the past?
When that happens, these are the 4 things you can do:
- Start by practicing mindfulness in every activity you do
- Become conscious and aware of your thoughts (More on this in my podcast where I talk about what it means to observe our thoughts.)
- Learn to focus your mind on what you want to focus on
- Change unconscious negative thoughts into intentional positive thoughts.
Here’s a meditation that I use to stop my mind from fixating on negative things.
May you recognize your wholeness and perfection. May you honor this moment by being here fully for it. May you commit to this one eternal and infinite moment. May you allow yourself to lay your baggage down from yesterday and not to pick up tomorrow’s until tomorrow.
