How to Stop Seeing Yourself as Failure

Overcoming the Failure Life Trap

Q: I am currently struggling with a terrible sense of fear around the point at which I find myself in life right now… I have always been my harshest judge but that was what drove me on… now it is tearing me down. I am struggling to find the motivation or meaning in anything… I have read the books, done the classes, had the therapy, listened to the podcasts and watched the YT videos but right now… I just don’t have the strength of character that I once believed I had.

I look inside myself and only see failure. I don’t have the belief in myself that once pushed me forward… so I feel stuck, immobile, and incapable of getting myself out of this rut. What can I do?

TODD ANSWERS: That is very understandable. It can be really hard to let go of mental habits that have served us in the past but now no longer do. They became ingrained as much as any other kind of habit.

But, like all habits, we can get rid of old ones and form new ones. I’d say putting up reminders to engage in positive self-talk, having a mantra that uplifts you (like “I am already perfect”), and above all, just staying mindful of your thoughts.

Watch them like a parent watching over a child. Catch negative thoughts before they destroy the house (aka mind). And then be loving towards them and grateful for pointing out what work we still have left to do.

The past doesn’t matter. All that matters is how we can do better going forward. That’s it!


Surviving Emotional Storms

Q: Dear Todd, After years of struggling I have come a very long way. But as of late, I’m just drowning and can’t seem to once and for all, get through to where I want to be. Please help.

TODD ANSWERS: I just want you to know that you are strong and whole and will get through this. Remember, whenever you feel like you are drowning, just breathe. You can do this.

Give yourself permission to take a few minutes every day to just breathe. Observe your breath. That is it. Don’t try to solve or fix anything at this time. Just practice being. Give your body and mind the space it needs to recenter.

Every single conscious breath you take is an opportunity to get out of your head, to tune out everything else, and only your breath remains. Notice your breath’s calming presence, like the ocean coming in and going out. It is always there with you whenever you need it.

There is peace and stillness that lie between thoughts and worries. The more spaces you create simply by focusing on your breath, the more frequent and longer those spaces will become, and the more peace and joy can fill up your life.

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