Q: Dear Todd, fear of rejection, then not feeling good enough is what holds me back from talking to more women. I feel like I’d have way more joy in my life if I just went for it, but I know how much rejection happens plus I don’t want to force things, I like the universe to guide me to the right connections. What’s your take on this? Do you think we need to go make things happen or let them come to us?

TODD ANSWERS: We are the co-creators of our universe. While many things are outside of our control, many things are within our control. If you are at a place and someone else who attracts your interest is there at the same time, that IS the universe urging you. It is noble to wait and let things play out, and patience is a virtue, but there are other single folks out there who are less contemplative and more bold. So in the mating dance of love, sometimes we have to flash some feathers (metaphorically).

But, more important than whether to let things happen or make them happen, is how we view rejection in the first place.

Rejection just means you get to move on to finding the right person quicker.

Be glad! Get to that “no” ASAP and be grateful that you did. True confidence is not caring about the outcome. Just be you, be present, and remember that even if someone rejects you, the other person can still feel flattered and you still gained valuable experience and practice. There really is no such thing as rejection or failure.

I have a few YouTube videos on this topic as well. One on how to embrace rejection and the other on dating. You got this!