Nearly all of human behaviour is conditioned, sometimes by society, sometimes by our families, and sometimes by our own unique experiences. These behaviors are conditioned through rewards and punishments. How a behavior makes us feel determines whether we continue that behavior. And while a lot of conditioning is well-intentioned, sometimes, especially when there’s been trauma, we learn to internalize stress even though we are perfectly safe.

But, we can unlearn trauma responses and we can create new, healthy emotional responses. Most of the time, our conditioned emotional responses guide our behavior. But when we can learn to witness our emotions, we can accept them and we can choose a course of action that is in alignment with our values and intentions, rather than be a slave to the whims of our emotions. Sometimes those emotions will be our intuition telling us to make a change, and sometimes it will be a fear-based survival instinct based on unhealed trauma. Only when we quiet the mind and look clearly will we be able to know the difference. And that, like everything else, just takes time and practice.