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How to Respond to People Who Hurt Us

Q: Dear Todd, shouldn’t we respond with our true feelings to people who hurt us and not with love and kindness?

TODD ANSWERS: Someone recently asked me this question about how to respond to people who hurt us. I get it, believe me. Our first (unconscious) instinctual reaction is to respond with anger. But this would be a reaction that lacks wisdom, patience, perspective, and most importantly, efficacy. It is just not effective when communicating to respond with anger. People’s walls go up and they dig even deeper into their positions.

So how can we see the error of that small thinking? How can we step back and see the bigger picture? How can we respond most effectively? To do this, we need to maintain our composure so we can see the situation as it truly is and how best to proceed. By not losing ourselves in rage, and through a little careful analysis, we can see there is never any need to be angry, there is no need to hate, and there is no benefit to conflict.

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This Post Has One Comment

  1. Elizabeth McMeens

    The process of letting go is painful. It is brutal in terms of where those thoughts want to take us. But it is the precious gift of freedom so that we can help ourselves and others. Thank you, Todd, for helping me remember. When the dam breaks, the pressure is released and all becomes calm. So grateful for the life you chose and give.

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