Cruel words can only hurt us if they are tinged with truth. Not with objective truth, but with our own personal truth. Objectively, no words would ever hurt us because we would be looking at our situation rationally, from all angles, and we’d be honest with ourselves about what we know and don’t know. If that inner voice in our head is self-critical, other people’s unkind words will really sting.…
Every single thing we experience outside of us is a projection of our own mind. If we lived in a tribe on an island with no connection to the modern world, we may think airplanes flying overhead were shiny birds. We can only experience the world based on our understanding, our mental state, and our emotional state.If we are hard on ourselves, we expect other people to be hard on…
A lot of people think that accepting things as they are means we don’t need to take any action, we don’t need to improve anything, and that “letting go” means giving up. I was even asked once, “Doesn’t being happy mean that we would not care about anything and we would never try to develop ourselves spiritually, financially or personally?”I understand where these questions are coming from. From a nonspiritual…
Isn’t it funny how much we crave acceptance from people who are not gracious enough to give it to us and who have already shown us they are incapable of doing so? We all want a spotless, stellar reputation. We want only good words to be spoken about us, whether we are present or not. And any blemish, any tarnishing of that reputation, even being misunderstood or having someone assume…
Early in my time in India, one of the first gurus I met asked me why I wanted to become enlightened. I said, “Because it’s probably like being on an acid trip all the time.” He laughed and said, “Then you won’t become enlightened.” What I realized later was that he was pointing out the selfishness of that motivation. Enlightenment cannot be pursued for personal pleasure. That moment shifted my…
When Insecurity Enters RelationshipsNo one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we’re closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people.But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we…
Reader Question "Dear Todd, if we have family, friends, and relationships can we also reach Enlightenment/Self-Realization? Can we have both?" There is no doubt that it is easier to meditate all day when we live in a monastery. But, while meditation is essential for understanding the mind and the nature of consciousness, that’s not all there is to reaching our ultimate potential.We humans forget that we are spiritual beings, but…
What is the secret to peace and lasting joy? Why does true contentment in life feel so elusive? We all seek it, yet very few of us seem to hold onto it for long. We are bombarded with “solutions” for our discontent everywhere and all the time. Society tells us that this or that product will finally give us a feeling of wholeness. The next smartphone will be the last…
Send me a message Five minutes a day of intentional positive thinking is enough to start changing how your mind works. Here's the practice — and why our thoughts run negative by default. Almost all of our thinking is unconscious. It's habit, conditioning, and repetition, and it leans negative because the mind is a survival system built to scan for danger. That worked in the forest. It doesn't work in…
How Can You Not Be Attached to Family and Loved Ones?I know it seems strange at first, but the more we examine it, the more we will find that love without possessiveness or clinginess is a far greater and more powerful love. This is what true unconditional love looks like.When we love with attachment, we love with stress and anxiety too, constantly worrying, even if it’s imperceptible. This subconscious stress…
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