Every single thing we experience outside of us is a projection of our own mind. If we lived in a tribe on an island with no connection to the modern world, we may think airplanes flying overhead were shiny birds. We can only experience the world based on our understanding, our mental state, and our emotional state.
If we are hard on ourselves, we expect other people to be hard on themselves. If we are our own worst critic, we expect that other people are criticizing us too. A critical mindset toward ourselves cannot be contained to just us, and eventually we become critical of everything and everyone else.
Similarly, a loving mindset towards ourselves helps us learn to forgive ourselves. But, that forgiveness isn’t limited to just us. Learning to forgive ourselves makes us skilled forgivers (here I speak of forgiveness as strictly an internal process).
We are each a vessel for life. When these vessels are healthy, happy and loving, only then can we truly be there for others. We must look at our insecurities and love them to death. We must reflect on mistakes or regrets from our past and love them into extinction.
We simply need to shift our mindset from pressure, lack and fear, to love, kindness and acceptance. Learning how to bring more contentment into your life begins right here, replacing the constant drive for external achievement with deep internal appreciation. It starts with setting the intention and then putting it into practice.
Always Remember: Prioritize Self-Care and Self-Compassion
Many of us put so much guilt on ourselves for taking some time to recharge and for self-care, but loving others really does need to start with loving ourselves.
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we have. And if we become drained and exhausted from self-critical negativity, we are no use to anyone else.
Take some time every day to support yourself. Meditate, notice your thoughts, bring as much awareness and attention to your thoughts as you can, and then see what happens. Usually, our greater wisdom kicks in when we turn our gaze inward. We stop needless negative thinking, we let go of traits that don’t serve us, and we speak to ourselves with the love we deserve.
Remember, people that are the most self-critical are often the kindest, most thoughtful people on earth. So you also have my permission to go easy on yourself and not worry so much about yourself and what you’re doing. Just listen to your heart. It always knows.
This week, whatever you’ve been holding onto, let it change with the seasons. Whatever has been weighing on you, may you set it down. As we breathe, let’s breathe in only this moment. As we exhale, let go so we may welcome the next moment.
Recommended Reading: How can I find myself spiritually?
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10,000 Mental Steps: A Happiness Challenge
Are you taking 10,000 mental steps daily?
Learning to treat ourselves with unconditional love often uncovers the hidden patterns holding us back. Before we can fully cultivate self-compassion, we must recognize how easily the mind falls into automatic patterns of drama and self-criticism. Moving from self-judgment to true inner peace requires us to examine how we interact with our thoughts on a daily basis.
Addicted to Negative Thoughts? Learn to Control Your Mind
When we go on a downward spiral of negativity, underneath the thoughts are an attachment to those thoughts. This is the only reason we would mindlessly make ourselves suffer. Unconsciously, we want the drama, we want self-righteousness, we want the justified anger. AND, we unconsciously don’t want to let go, don’t want to accept, and don’t want to move on.
The truth is, our value doesn’t come from others’ praise, worth doesn’t come from wealth, and contentment doesn’t come from achievement.
So first we have to become aware of what is going on beneath the surface. We have to see how we are addicted to egoic thinking. Then we can become aware of how we feed that thinking. We either feed it with enlightening activities (the “vegetables”); or with gossip, comparison and competition (the mental “junk food”).
Calling Out Unhelpful Self-Talk
In the week ahead, just as we would lovingly call out a friend for saying something untrue or hurtful, let’s notice how we speak to ourselves.
Is our mind always exaggerating (hint, it usually does)? Is it comparing? Is it considering other people’s opinions above our own? Is it focused on the past or future at the expense of the perfect present moment? Is it lost to fear or fantasy, draining our energy and making us inactive?
Whenever the mind is not serving us, lovingly and sweetly call those thoughts out for being unhelpful and turn your mind back towards positive thoughts and feelings of compassion, goodwill and universal love.
By eating those “vegetables,” whether it’s a bubble bath or a meditation or a yoga class or tea on the porch, our minds will naturally be peaceful and positive.
The Art of Gratitude
No matter how dark a situation is, there is always something to find gratitude in. Discover how shifting your perspective transforms every challenge into growth and unlocks lasting inner peace.
