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How to Love Yourself Before you Love Others

Q: I feel so frustrated, I know how to guide, love, & support everyone except myself. It’s all so overwhelming because I just don’t know how to make that connection. Any advice?

love yourself before you love others

Todd Answers: You sound like a very caring and nurturing soul. Oftentimes, the nurturers put so much guilt on themselves for taking some time to recharge and for self-care. Loving others really do need to start with loving ourselves.

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we have. And if we become drained and exhausted from self-critical negativity, we are no use to anyone else.

You have my 100% permission to take some time every day to support yourself. Meditate, notice your thoughts, bring as much awareness and attention to your thoughts as you can, and then see what happens. Usually, our greater wisdom kicks in when we turn our gaze inward. We stop needless negative thinking, we let go of traits that don’t serve us, and we speak to ourselves with the love we deserve.

Remember, people that are the most self-critical are often the kindest, most thoughtful
people on earth. So you also have my permission to go easy on yourself and not worry so much
about yourself and what you’re doing. Just listen to your heart. It always knows.

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