How to Love Yourself Before you Love Others

Every single thing we experience outside of us is a projection of our own mind. If we lived in a tribe on an island with no connection to the modern world, we may think airplanes flying overhead were shiny birds. We can only experience the world based on our understanding, our mental state, and our emotional state.

If we are hard on ourselves, we expect other people to be hard on themselves. If we are our own worst critic, we expect that other people are criticizing us too. A critical mindset toward ourselves cannot be contained to just us, and eventually we become critical of everything and everyone else. 

Similarly, a loving mindset towards ourselves helps us learn to forgive ourselves. But, that forgiveness isn’t limited to just us. Learning to forgive ourselves makes us skilled forgivers (here I speak of forgiveness as strictly an internal process).

We are each a vessel for life. When these vessels are healthy, happy and loving, only then can we truly be there for others. We must look at our insecurities and love them to death. We must reflect on mistakes or regrets from our past and love them into extinction. We simply need to shift our mindset from pressure, lack and fear, to love, kindness and acceptance. It starts with setting the intention and then putting it into practice.


Many of us put so much guilt on ourselves for taking some time to recharge and for self-care, but loving others really does need to start with loving ourselves. 

Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we have. And if we become drained and exhausted from self-critical negativity, we are no use to anyone else.

Take some time every day to support yourself. Meditate, notice your thoughts, bring as much awareness and attention to your thoughts as you can, and then see what happens. Usually, our greater wisdom kicks in when we turn our gaze inward. We stop needless negative thinking, we let go of traits that don’t serve us, and we speak to ourselves with the love we deserve.

Remember, people that are the most self-critical are often the kindest, most thoughtful people on earth. So you also have my permission to go easy on yourself and not worry so much about yourself and what you’re doing. Just listen to your heart. It always knows.


This week, whatever you’ve been holding onto, let it change with the seasons. Whatever has been weighing on you, may you set it down. As we breathe, let’s breathe in only this moment. As we exhale, let go so we may welcome the next moment.

Much love (and self-love),


PS – How do we overcome fear? How do we find comfort in the uncomfortable? And how can we both try new things, work to achieve big dreams, but still be happy with what we have right now? I answer all these questions and more in my latest podcast

And in case you are wondering how we can rise above our temptations, act in alignment with our intentions, and have a joyful life free from inner conflict, watch this YouTube video.

Get Peace & Calm Delivered

Receive the tools and insights for living a life free from fear, negativity and stress.

[email-subscribers-form id="2"]