Cruel words can only hurt us if they are tinged with truth. Not with objective truth, but with our own personal truth. Objectively, no words would ever hurt us because we would be looking at our situation rationally, from all angles, and we’d be honest with ourselves about what we know and don’t know.
If that inner voice in our head is self-critical, other people’s unkind words will really sting. How others treat us always starts with how we treat ourselves. The nature of our inner voice shows what we’ll tolerate, what we believe we deserve, and it gives our power away to those who would treat us unkindly. More on why we get angry, how to see it rising, and how we can nip it in the bud in this video.
When we acknowledge and release our insecurities, there is nothing anyone else can do to hurt us. We don’t need a single insecurity because not a single person is perfect. (If you have anxiety or insecurity stemming from a codependent relationship, you may find this podcast helpful.) There is no arriving at some ideal future moment of achievement. This is it. We’re in the moment. Whatever you think will make you happy in the future is only making you unhappy right now. This moment is all there is. Nothing is preventing us from fully enjoying it. The only thing that can possibly obscure our love for this moment is that inner voice. When that stops, no one else can ever treat us badly because their words will hold no weight with us.
It’s so important that we take time to heal. That means not just physically, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually too. Others may think that’s selfish and we may feel guilty, but it’s actually the most thoughtful, considerate thing we can do.
This can be meditating, yoga, time with our friends and family, making art or music, or even just a walk in nature. In my latest video, I share some very deep spiritual truths that are fundamental to understanding the nature of the mind, and the key to lasting happiness and peace.
Pay extra attention to how that inner voice is self-talking. Notice if it is positive or negative. If the voice is negative, take a breath, slow down the breath and body, see if you can let go of that story or see it from a more beneficial perspective, and come back to the here and now.
PS – What really matters is how we lived, how we loved, what impact we left, and how present we were for this brief wild ride. But we still fear the inevitable and see death as this thing we might be able to escape. More on this here.
This can be meditating, yoga, time with our friends and family, making art or music, or even just a walk in nature.
How to Heal Yourself From Past Trauma
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