When Insecurity Enters RelationshipsNo one can bring out our best and worst selves quite like the people we’re closest to. When approached mindfully, relationships can be incredible opportunities to grow in presence and as people.But when there is insecurity, doubt, jealousy, suspicion, or possessiveness in relationships, this can create a toxic, fertile soil for mindlessness and trouble to grow. Because most of us want to be in a relationship, we…
I understand how hard it can be when people don't treat us the way we would treat others. It is disappointing, disheartening, and discouraging. People are messy and relationships can be very complicated, but we enter into them because of the immense meaning and purpose they bring.To hold onto anger and resentment is to give up on people everywhere. It's a battlefield out there, but we only have 3 options.1)…
Love isn’t always easy. Usually, the journey to finding true love is filled with heartache, anger, sadness, and depression—but also joy, comfort, companionship, laughter, and fun. Unless you get so lucky as to marry your first date, there will be some heartbreak. Fortunately, however, there are concrete ways to help you trust finding love again after being hurt. To quote Pat Benatar, "Love is a battlefield." Sometimes we get hurt.…
Reader Question"Todd, it’s my own self-esteem that’s been struck once again to prolong this long battle of wondering, will I ever meet that person? Am I destined to be alone? Have I gotten too old? Will I make it through yet another bout? I’m broken right now but fighting."We all (well, most of us anyway) want a devoted partner, close friends, and a loving family. But trying to find the…
What do you do if your partner is spiritually at a different place than you are? Ultimately, this question comes down to two things. There are really two broad stages of spirituality and spiritual development. Of course, within each stage there are many levels, but we can loosely divide them into beginner and advanced, those new, inexperienced meditators and mindful practitioners, and those who have been on the path for…
A question I received recently was, "I added 4 inches of height to my dating profile. I now have dates lined up for the first time in my life. Now, I am tempted to keep it this way." These days, it may seem like everyone is stretching the truth on dating sites. Camera angles are purposefully mysterious, pixelated old photos hide our age, and the bios may better describe fictional…
Q: Dear Todd, I had someone pretend to like me for a year and then she told me that she was using me and that the whole time she hated me. It messed me up so much. I still think that everyone hates me because idk if I can trust people. What if they are like her? What if I’m annoying? Is there something wrong with me? I also hate…
Q: Dear Todd, my problem is: I am someone who saw and recognized my same-sex attraction from a young age. Over time, I surrendered to such behavior and came into contact with men. I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for several years. With whom I broke up some time ago, even though I had everything that every "gay" would want. The reason why I broke up is…
Q: Dear Todd, fear of rejection, then not feeling good enough is what holds me back from talking to more women. I feel like I’d have way more joy in my life if I just went for it, but I know how much rejection happens plus I don’t want to force things, I like the universe to guide me to the right connections. What’s your take on this? Do you…
Q: Dear Todd, my girlfriend told me she hates me and wants me to die a horrible death. Should I forgive her? TODD ANSWERS: Forgive her, yes. Break up with her, maybe also yes (although that’s a personal decision only you can make). The definition of forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake. It doesn’t mean telling them you forgive them.…
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