Q: Dear Todd, someone who has tried to get me to commit suicide multiple times doesn't deserve me to show them love. If I let it go and forgive, in their mind, wouldn’t that just justify hurting me?Q: Do we continue being our good selves, smiling, doing good deeds for other people, loving them, even if they treat us like something they have stepped in? After many years of trying,…
Sometimes (all the time), we are our own worst critic. We talk to ourselves in ways we would never tolerate anyone else speaking to us. We believe our own criticism and we have a hard time believing our own — or other people's — praise.Today, Todd talks about this baggage from our past that we carry with us, and how to set it down. The past can never be negative. It was…
There are two things taking place when we feel like our life is not going the way we hoped or wanted it to. The first thing is expectations — those pesky things created by society, our loved ones, and our own biased assumptions about how life should be. The second thing is a feeling of stuckness — that dull feeling, which lacks newness and excitement, that stems from repetitive and monotonous…
Q: Dear Todd, 38 long fucking years of severely crippling mental and emotional rape mainly at the hands of the toxic person that's supposed to be my so-called "mother"...that is STILL presently ongoing right now. How the fuck is this shit temporary?!?! When does it end?!?!TODD ANSWERS: My dear friend, I am so sorry that the person entrusted to protect you has let you down and continues to. That is…
None of us are promised tomorrow, we are only promised this moment. That can be scary, but it also makes this moment more beautiful, more precious, and more special. And while tomorrow’s uncertainty can be scary, the fact that this infinitely wondrous world is still spinning in all its complexity, can give us some peace of mind.Living in this mysterious universe isn’t always easy, but it is always perfectly in…
Isn’t life a funny thing? We’re all striving, working hard in business and on ourselves. We’re all on a journey to succeed and grow. And yet, so many of us are ashamed of where we are right now on our journey. We’re jealous of other people who insecurely show off. We’re all growing, and yet we’re all embarrassed about it.The fact is, wherever we are on our path in life,…
For the better part of nine years, I lived in monasteries, ashrams, tribes and forests. I even spent months in silent meditation retreats. During all this time, I was trying to figure out who had the best methods and teachings. Some retreats were very strict, where we’d meditate in tiny prison-like cells for 14 hours a day. 3am wakeup times, total silence, and nothing but meditating and eating two meals.…
A few years ago I moved to a new neighborhood in New York. I didn’t know anyone in the area, but I was excited to explore and make new friends. One day on a walk, I ran into a dear old friend who I used to be very close with and found out he was practically my next door neighbor! We made plans to have dinner later that week and…
Q: Dear Todd, I work in a restaurant and the environment is usually very negative and toxic. What's the best way to deal with negative and difficult people without getting triggered?Todd Answers: That is so draining to be surrounded by people who bring you down day after day. The best thing to do is focus on people's energy rather than what they say. I don't mean some invisible mysterious energy. I…
Q: Dear Todd, What Are Your Thoughts On Negativity?TODD ANSWERS: The thing about negative thoughts is that they are neither good nor bad, but clues to something going on below the surface.Like anything else that's undesirable, when negative thoughts arise, we can either get mad or sad about it. Or, we can be totally fine about it, accept it, investigate it joyfully, and be at peace with it. It's all…
We all know what to do to keep ourselves physically healthy, but very few of us are taught how to stay mentally healthy.
“I thought my biggest fear was growing old and dying in prison. In truth, my biggest fear was growing old and not knowing myself.”
- Rick Smith, Albama inmate
