Can I Ever Heal From the Trauma of Having a Toxic Mother?

Q: Dear Todd, 38 long fucking years of severely crippling mental and emotional rape mainly at the hands of the toxic person that’s supposed to be my so-called “mother”…that is STILL presently ongoing right now. How the fuck is this shit temporary?!?! When does it end?!?!

TODD ANSWERS: My dear friend, I am so sorry that the person entrusted to protect you has let you down and continues to. That is very deeply traumatic and those young memories which shape our worldview are the hardest to process and heal from. But, they can also be the catalyst for becoming free from any suffering if we let them. Whether it’s the death of a parent or the abuse of a parent, many childhood victims have become the most enlightened and loving people on our planet because they have said enough is enough, and they turned their trauma into love.

I hope you can afford to create healthy boundaries and distance yourself to protect your mental peace. I hope you are able to let the past remain in the past with no hard feelings or ill will. I know that you can process your pain and suffering if you give yourself the time, patience and self-love. If you can transform every feeling of pain into love, that is the way. Become mindful of your own mind. Be aware of how the mind ruminates and obsesses over the past. Always check in with your mind to see if you are living in a story from the past, and see how it’s robbing you of joy for the present moment.

Any person who can hurt a child is clearly living as a child themselves. They were not raised properly either, that is very clear. So there is no need to hold onto any resentment, anger or hatred. There is no need to give your capacity for joy over to these people. Get safe. Check in with your mental state, and turn any negativity into love. Always let love be your guiding light. This is the way out of suffering. The power to change is in your hands. Wishing you much peace and love.

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