How to Stop Obsessing Over Your Flaws & Imperfections

Learn to be Okay With Your Scars

It’s a funny story of how we all got to be our own worst critics. It started with the mean comments we heard from others when we were kids. Next, we began to judge others to make ourselves feel better. And finally, once the voice in our head became hyper-critical of others, it inevitably turned its focus upon itself. This is how most of us have gotten sucked into the judgment trap. And now social media is just amplifying this judgmentality, oftentimes creating an even stronger comparative mindset at the expense of true companionship.

But, just as self-criticism can be learned, it can also be unlearned. The more we expand our conscious awareness beyond the physical level of our reality, the less we fixate on our physical flaws. In fact, I recorded a whole podcast on why self-worth is not related to our appearance at all. It all comes down to the fact that the more we understand we are the spark of life itself and not the physical body we inhabit, the more free we are to become our most authentic selves, imperfections and all.

We are all the same life-force energy of nature. When we see the causes and effects that led to this moment, no longer can we blame ourselves or others for things that happen because we will have a deeper understanding of the interconnected nature of reality. And when we see the one life force that flows through all living beings, the flawless perfection of this magical universe is revealed. As we grow in mindfulness (AKA present moment awareness), we become more aware of what we are feeding our minds and we start to naturally gravitate towards the things that bring us lasting happiness instead of momentary pleasure at the expense of our future happiness.

To see beyond the physical plane, all we have to do is close our eyes. Our consciousness transcends space and time. It doesn’t exist physically in the body. It is our doorway to the spiritual. It’s a feeling. We can feel life pulsing through us. When we turn our attention inward, as the world falls away, what we are left with is a taste of the infinite. We flow through the universe and the universe flows through us. On the physical level, things may seem chaotic, random and messy. But if we take a step back, zoom out, and expand our perspective, we will see that everything is happening exactly as it’s supposed to, like clockwork. Everything comes together right on time, in perfect order, in perfect balance and harmony. 


Have you ever felt this way?

Have you ever just been completely blown away by something in nature that you stare at it for way too long and think about it for the rest of your life?

I once saw a tree like that in a park in New Zealand. It had alien-like tentacles coming alive, stretching out and grasping for support. So many plants and trees in that park, and in Auckland, had these red veiny tendrils. If a branch broke and fell, a fresh red tendril would extend as far as it could from the trunk where the branch broke. As it aged it would harden and turn brown, and then other tendrils would extend and form around it, strengthening the newly formed branch. Once the new branch had a solid foothold, the bark would grow, covering the thin interwoven tendrils, and the tree would become stronger and larger than before.

If you look closely at humans, we too are like this. Human strength and resilience are forged under pressure. If you look closely at strength, you will find struggle. Where you see scars, there is transformation. There can be no success without challenge. Wear your scars proud my friend, for you can do anything. One of those most difficult trials that put every human to the test is loss and grief. It’s essential that we each take the time to heal in our own way without guilt or pressure because everybody grieves in their own unique way,

As those first hints of spring peak through the winter, let’s remember to notice that the leaves may fall, but they will be regrown. The plants may die, but they become soil for our food. And even through the darkest winters, the sun will rise again.

PS: We all deal with stress in our lives. Kids, mortgages, relationships, the job. Unless we have a magic wand, stressful circumstances will always show up. That’s no different whether you’re a CEO, a teacher or a busboy. So, let’s find out why Jack Dorsey, CEO of multiple companies,  started meditating and how he manages the stress.

How Our Thoughts Affect Our Life