Breakups are emotionally challenging, and in today’s digital age, the omnipresence of social media can complicate the healing process. The constant stream of updates, photos, and status changes can create a heartbreak loop, impeding the journey toward emotional recovery.
Q: Dear Todd, how to not check my ex’s social media and break my heart over and over again?
TODD ANSWERS: These phones of ours really make enjoying life difficult. Even though we know so clearly and strongly that the phone drives us crazy, we are a slave to the impulse of pulling it out and checking an app we just checked two minutes ago!
Step 1) So my first bit of advice is to keep the phone in another room or as far from you as you possibly can. Oftentimes, just the few extra seconds it takes to get up and go get the phone is enough to catch ourselves from doing something we’ll regret. What happens is we end up checking the phone about 1/10th of the time, and that it is priceless for our mental health.
Step 2, block them and take a social media fast if you need to. When you come back to the phone, try to stay mindful of the fact that we’re all just smart monkeys looking at a little piece of glass, and nothing on the glass is so important that we need to get worked up over it. Real life is usually very peaceful, so the more we engage with our physical spaces or just reflect, the happier we get.
Observe your compulsion to check the stock prices (maybe cutting back or maybe taking a break would be positive), remember the big picture (daily market changes won’t seem so important in the grand scheme of things), and do what’s best for you and then put your worries aside and put your trust in the universe. That’s all any of us can do.
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