We all want to be liked and we crave acceptance. And yet, at times we can feel like everyone is judging us or hating us. Ironically, it’s often the people-pleasers who are most sensitive to this phenomenon. They want to be liked by everyone (which is impossible) and so when just one person is unkind, they notice. This can make it very difficult to have a peaceful life. So what…
Grief is so much more than a personal journey. It's how we show our love for those we've lost to our friends and family. It's communal and it's one of the ways we all come together to heal. But, we also all heal in our own way. Because there is no one right or wrong way to grieve, we may feel guilty if we don't conform in how we grieve.…
Someone recently asked me how I can suggest that even people in Ukraine respond with love when they're lives are in danger. The person went on to tell me that they struggle with spirituality because "we have fear for a reason and if a bear is charging at you, it doesn't care if you respond with love or not, it will still eat you. If you respond with fear, maybe…
When we grow up unaccepted, unliked, and under appreciated, it’s a totally normal reaction to internalize those feelings. This is our way of making sense of the world — if people keep taking their anger and hurt out on us, we will begin to think that we are the problem and that we deserve it.If left unnoticed and untended to, this belief system can cause us to accept mistreatment and abuse…
Just the other day, I had a ton of work to do and my mind went, “Ugh, work.” Immediately, my head slumped down, my shoulders slouched, and heavy emotions started to come over me.Thank goodness I noticed that thought. Because I was paying attention, I witnessed the thought and emotions, observed my resistance to the workload, and I saw how the resistance was causing me stress, not the work. I was…
I know it, and you know it. Terrible things happen to wonderful people and wonderful things happen to people who've done tremendous harm. If even a great man like Gandhi was assassinated, what chance do the rest of us have at a peaceful and good life?! So how can we understand the seeming unfairness in our world? How should we exist in, and respond to, an unfair world? Should we…
Many of us try futilely to control every aspect of our lives. But control is an illusion. We can do our best to create a perfectly calm life, but life may have other plans for us. While we can't always control our circumstances, we can control how we experience and react to them. That is where mindfulness comes in. In this episode, Todd dives deep into the nature of our…
What is the secret to peace and contentment? Why is it so elusive? We all seek it and yet very few of us have it. We are bombarded with "solutions" for discontent everywhere and all the time. This or that product will finally give you the feeling of wholeness. The next iPhone will be the last product you'll ever need... until the next model comes out. This car, that house,…
Make Life Less ChaoticI wish this wasn’t such a timely metaphor, but tragically due to the recent events in Ohio it is: a speeding train cannot reverse course instantaneously. It has so much inertia that it can only be stopped very slowly, and only once it’s stopped can it begin the gradual acceleration in the other direction.Our habits, especially our mental habits, are like speeding trains. When we are born,…
Q: Dear Todd, I'm 49 and have not found peace yet. I have all the time in the world to meditate, eat healthy and exercise but it is hard to take the first step. Hoping I will get on the path of enlightenment and will start moving instead of being lazy and wishing for it. Any thoughts?TODD ANSWERS: Try not to carry all your ambitions and goals on your shoulders…
“I thought my biggest fear was growing old and dying in prison. In truth, my biggest fear was growing old and not knowing myself.”
- Rick Smith, Albama inmate
A newsletter not just for your mental health but also for your spiritual health.
