It Bothers Me When Others Smoke or Vape Around Me

Q: Dear Todd, I view smoking and vaping as negative habits and don’t want to be around people who do that, and don’t want to view them positively. I find these habits trigger me and make me pull away. Any suggestions?

Todd Answers: That is very understandable. It’s always difficult to see our loved ones or people we care about doing something harmful whether it’s vaping or doing even more harmful drugs, it’s all too easy to see them as failures or fools. But often, these are the people who need love and support more than ever.

Because people make one big mistake — trying some addictive substance activity once and then get hooked — doesn’t make them unworthy of love or failures we should immediately write off. Letting them know with love your concern and if they ever want to talk you’re there for them, can help them feel supported and less likely to continue destructive behavior. It’s small gentle nudges that have the greatest success.

Now, this doesn’t mean exposing yourself to any harmful chemicals or dangerous situations. We can only give the love we have to give. That means knowing your limits and listening to your heart.

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