The Key to Observing Thoughts
Most of the time, in our day-to-day lives, we are lost in thought, pondering various ideas without actively observing them. We are not consciously witnessing or listening to our thoughts.
If we were to ask ourselves what we were thinking about a minute ago, most of the time, unless we’ve been fixated on something all day, we’d have no idea.
The key to observing our thoughts is dis-identifying with the thoughts and re-identifying with the witness. Because there aren’t two selves inside of us. There isn’t a witness and observer of our thoughts and the thinking mind; the thinking mind is a form that can be perceived by consciousness, our true self.
Becoming Aware of the Mind’s Tricks
While we are going about our day-to-day activities, we are putting all of our focus outside of us. We are focusing primarily on whatever is going on in front of us; our attention is projected outward.
We usually become unaware of our thoughts, unaware of how they are negative, often repetitive, and create a narrative for whatever is happening around us, which, in fact, makes us unable to see reality as it really is. Because instead of letting whatever happens be, we create a story that what we are seeing is either good or bad.
Often, we find the negative because that is what these survival mechanisms inside of us have done so that we could survive, so that we would run away from tigers, and not go too close to cliffs, and be wary of any risks and dangers in the natural world.
Naturally, these thinking machines inside of us are going to fixate and obsess over anything negative that they can latch onto.
They will imagine the worst dangers, the most frightening scenarios, oftentimes the worst possible imagined future.
We first have to become aware of the tricks that the mind plays.
We have to be aware that we’re not in danger, that these fears are all in our head.
Of course, if you’re camping in the woods, or if you’re in a dangerous neighborhood at night, you might need to listen to that inner threat warning.
But most of the time, when we’re relaxing, or we’re at work, or we’re stuck in traffic, that negative voice goes into overdrive, because it doesn’t know the difference between stress from a job and stress from a tiger.
2 Step Process for Observing Our Thoughts
There are two ways. And both are essential to maintaining a sense of peace and happiness, despite whatever our thinking mind is doing.
Step 1: Close Your Eyes & Turn Inwards to Observe Thoughts
The first step, and the most powerful, is to close your eyes and turn your attention inward for some period of time every day, if you are able to. It can be a few minutes.
It can even be as simple as leaving your phone outside of the bathroom, like so many people are doing now.
But any chance you get where you can have a moment of peace, close out distractions. Close your eyes, if that’s possible.
Turn your attention inward. And simply watch your thoughts.
Don’t try to think about anything specific.
Don’t try to do anything at all.
Just allow whatever comes up to come up.
If you like, you can focus on your breath while you’re doing this. (and any new meditator will not be able to do that for even a full minute.)
Watching the Mind Wander
As your mind naturally wanders, before turning your attention back to your breath, just make a little note of what you were thinking about. If you can remember, make a note of what distracted you and what your train of thought was.
See if you can remember and figure out how you got onto what you’re thinking about now.
Maybe you heard a noise like a bell, and it reminded you of the microwave, and you started thinking about what you’re going to eat next.
Maybe you were just thinking, “This is so boring, I can’t wait until I’m doing the next thing.”
It can even be something as simple as noticing how much you hate meditation.
That is totally fine.
Whatever comes up, allow it to be. We don’t judge it; we simply make a note.
Because the thinking mind wants to judge and label everything, and awareness simply observes with neutrality. So that it can see reality.
As soon as a judgment is placed on a thought, or on any experience, we get further away from that experience.
And while it’s natural for the mind to judge, our greater wisdom knows that there is good and bad in everything.
All you have to do is watch any debate, and know that people can talk for hours about completely opposite points of view.
And so it’s not about what is true, what is right or wrong. It’s simply about recognizing, which goes beyond the thinking mind.
Recognizing that everything contains everything, that anything can be said about just about anything.
Many newscasters on those 24-hour news channels know all about this; they can have almost no information about an event that just happened. They will talk 24/7 because that’s their job. That is like the nature of the mind; it will think it is a thinking machine.
The more we just watch it, the more we create a distance between the witness who we truly are, consciousness itself, and the thinking mind, the one-word-at-a-time train of thought in our heads.
Creating Distance From Thought
Consciousness is able to perceive so much information at one time: the complexity of music, or all of the visual sights that we’re seeing, billions of pixels, such intricate sounds, smells, and tastes all at once.
But the mind can only think one thought at a time. It’s very limited, and we have a higher wisdom.
That wisdom is the witness that observes those thoughts and is able to choose which thoughts to act on and which to ignore. That is what I mean by our highest consciousness and our highest wisdom.
The more distance we create between the witness, our true selves, and the thinker, the quieter those thoughts become, and the more peaceful our life becomes.
When we identify as the thinker, and there is no distance between us and the thoughts, it is like a screaming person in our head, and we become much more impulsive. We are much more likely to act on every desire and every impulse that pops into our head.
The more distance we create, simply from observation and time spent witnessing, without judgment, the wiser we become and the greater our understanding.
All scientific inquiry is about observation, to gather knowledge, and so what we are doing is witnessing and observing our mind to gain understanding and wisdom.
The more time we spend with our eyes closed in meditation, and the more time we spend observing our thoughts, that distance grows and grows, and that voice gets quieter and quieter.
We become present witnesses, just like how a child who’s being watched is on their best behavior. The more we watch our thoughts, and the more we make that a habit, the more it will stop acting out unconsciously and unintentionally. The quieter it becomes, the more peaceful it becomes.
Step 2: Make Observing Thoughts Part of Your Everyday Life
The second thing we have to do to observe our thoughts, beyond closing our eyes and turning our attention inward, is to incorporate that into our daily practice, making it part of our everyday life.
This becomes a habit even when we’re not closing our eyes.
The way we do that is whenever we’re doing anything, specifically chores and laborious tasks, but really anytime, we do a mindfulness mental checkup.
This simply involves putting our attention on our thoughts, emotions, and our physical body as well.
Are our faces scrunched up, and we’re looking really mad while we do the dishes or cook food? Or are we relaxed, joyful, and peaceful on our face?
We don’t need a mirror to recognize this. We can just notice if we’re keeping tension in our face, if our shoulders are hunched over and contracted, or if we’re open and relaxed.
This is so important because much of our mental state is reflected in our physical body.
This is where the mind-body connection comes in. Our thoughts can create physical problems like chronic pain in our back, neck, shoulders, and joints.
Alternatively, we can give ourselves frown lines and wrinkles in the middle of our eyebrows from not enjoying the chores we have to do.
As we check our physical body and our emotional state, we also check our thoughts.
What are our thoughts doing?
Observing Ourselves Throughout the Day
This is especially true when we are on social media or watching films and television because much of the media is negative.
Sometimes, watching a horror movie can put our body in a stress response the whole time, which can be enjoyable, but we might also want to relax to avoid giving ourselves any back pain.
It’s crucial to devote as much attention to our internal state as to our external engagement.
Striving for a 50-50 split, where we navigate social media or other activities while remaining attentive and engaged, allows us to allocate 50% of our focus to our own thoughts, reactions, and bodily responses.
This balance is essential for maintaining conscious awareness of our thoughts and emotions throughout the day, but it’s also how we can lead mindful lives without isolating ourselves from the world.
We can actively participate in the world’s joys and pains without needing to retreat to a cave or forest.
By reflecting on our inner being while engaging with the external world, we unlock the key to enlightenment: living in a state of present-moment awareness.
In this state, we can savor the pleasures of the world without being consumed by them.
Instead, we approach them with mindfulness, allowing us to fully enjoy everything life has to offer.
We can enjoy the pleasures when they come. We can even enjoy them as they leave.
Things change, and even difficult, painful things arise. We remain mindful during those times, too.
So it’s vitally important that we both close our eyes and turn inward and give our 100% attention to the way these crazy things called brains work.
Also, throughout the day, maintain that mindful present moment awareness.
These 5 Minutes Could Shift Your Whole Week
Path to Peace Newsletter
***If you prefer listening, here’s the full podcast***
You can find all the Path to Peace with Todd Perelmuter podcast episodes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and YouTube
